Sex: is it different for girls?

By Auntyji Tuesday, May 28, 2013 - 07:30
Q: Dear Auntyji, I am confused about how women feel about sex. Do women think about sex differently from men? Gurtej (18), Patiala

Auntyji says...Whether men and women see sex in the same light or not is the eternal problem that all of mankind has been struggling with. Some say that they do, and some beg to disagree.

In true coalition politics style, your Auntyji supports whichever side is winning. But the truth is that there’s no straightforward answer to this question. Some women are very interested in sex and some men are not interested in sex at all. The opposite is true as well.

Love and orgasms Gurtej puttar, in very broad strokes, sex is same for everyone. It brings pleasure, usually requires a partner and gratifies internal urges. However, general consensus is that men obsess over sex a lot more. For them love and sex are separate beings. While it is expected that women see sex as part of love and are more interested in feeling loved than in gaining orgasms.

But then there is society’s way of looking at it. After millennia of male dominance, a woman is encouraged to control her sexual drive. Though always seen as the more sexual gender, their own sexualities is seen as a threat, and hence hushed up.

Keen And that’s the precise reason why women are considered less interested in sex. But the truth is I know girls who think about sex 10 times a minute as well. Some of us really enjoy imagining most men we meet naked.

But alas, similar societal norms expect men to act like randy savages as well. In my experience, it is the societal pressure that drives younger men to worry about ‘getting laid’. And see women around them as the forbidden fruits. If only they knew that most women are as keen as them!

Guarded And the same is true for the actual act of sex as well. Some people like it slow and steady, while others might prefer rougher stuff. Gender might play a role in that, but I think most of the time that’s just a stereotype. And we all know that stereotypes are never true.

One scientific fact is that the puberty arrives in girls a couple of years before boys. That might lead to a little more maturity for them. The second big factor is violence that women face is significantly more. Since a lot of it is sexual violence, women tend to be more guarded about sex. But it’ll be wrong to say that all boys are wolves out to hunt.

Don't generalise One can’t really predict what’s going on inside the mind of a woman. Just like no one can truly say what’s happening within the mind of a man. Sex is complicated, and extremely personal. We all have our own take on it and prefer a certain version of it.

To take care of your confusion, I’d just say that go experiment to find out what you enjoy and expect your partner to come with their own likes and dislikes. Just don’t generalise.

Auntyji is sponsored by DKT

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