What feels good?
It can feel good to have your anus stroked. It can also feel good to have a finger inside your anus. If you put your finger in your partner’s anus during sex, first moisten your finger with spit or lubricant. When you first touch it, the anus will squeeze tight – it’s a muscle reflex. Rest your finger on it and wait a little before you go any further.
Touch your anus when you masturbate.
Stroke or caress your partner’s anus during lovemaking.
Put something in the anus – a finger, a penis, a vibrator
Lick the anus – this is sometimes called ‘rimming’
Press or caress the skin between the balls and the anus (the perineum).
Touching the prostate
In men, a little way inside the anus you can feel the prostate. This is one of the most sensitive parts of a boy’s body. It’s about five centimetres inside the anus on the stomach side. Some men find it arousing to have their prostate touched. You can do it by putting your finger in the anus and moving it in and out.
The anus is close to the sex organs, has a lot of nerve endings and contracts when you have an orgasm. This is why anal sex feels good.
Anal sex shouldn’t hurt. But if you’ve no experience with it, it can be painful. Use lubricant and relax during lovemaking, and the pain will go. If it’s painful when the penis enters the anus, pull it out carefully, because it can hurt even more if you do it quickly.
Many people like to include the anus in lovemaking. If you don’t, say so. You don’t have to like everything!
Tips for problem-free anal sex
- Take your time. Start carefully and gently, give each other time to relax.
- Always use a water-based lubricant.
- Always use a condom. The inside of the anus can easily get infected. You can easily get little cuts or cracks in the skin, putting you at risk of infection with HIV or other sexually transmitted diseases. If your condom tears, you should go to a clinic or see a medical professional and get tested for sexually transmitted diseases. You don’t have to have anal sex. If you don’t want to, or it doesn’t work out, just do something else that you enjoy. Worried about hygiene?
- Make sure you’ve passed stool before you start. And you can also have a shower together first.
- Use a new condom if you have vaginal sex after anal sex. And if you’ve done it without a condom, at least wash your penis. The same goes for dildos and vibrators.
- If you put an object in the anus, make sure it’s the right shape. The tip should be rounded and the outside end should be wider than the rest, otherwise it can get sucked inside the rectum and get stuck.
You can’t get pregnant through anal sex. But you can get pregnant if sperm runs forward into the vagina.
The first time you have anal sex it can be scary and sometimes painful. This usually passes when you have more experience, use lubricant, and relax during sex.
Step by step
1. First touch and caress the anus, to get used to the feeling. If it feels good to your partner, you can put your finger inside the anus a little way and move it slowly back and forth.
2. Would you like to go further? You can put a small dildo or buttplug (a special dildo designed for the anus) inside, to get used to something that’s a bit bigger than a finger, but still smaller than a penis.
3. Both still happy about it and you’d like to go further still? You can gently put the end of the penis in – use a condom and plenty of lubricant! Do it slowly and carefully so you can both get used to it. If it’s painful, take the penis out slowly. If you do it quickly, it can hurt all the more.
4. Does this still feel good for both of you? Then the boy can slowly push his penis deeper in the anus and increase the speed.
Gay or straight
Is anal sex only for homosexuals? Not at all, heterosexuals also have anal sex. It’s one of the ways of having sex for both homosexuals and heterosexuals.