Foreplay: turning up the heat

When you make love, or have sex, you caress each other, get sexually aroused and perhaps have an orgasm. There are many ways to make love, with or without your clothes on.

You can kiss, caress, lie together naked with your bodies pressed or rubbing together, talk intimately, stroke each other's genitals, give each other oral sex (the man licking or sucking the woman's clitoris or labia, the woman licking or sucking the man's penis), have intercourse (the man's penis inside the woman's vagina) or anal sex (the man's penis inside the woman's anus).

You can also have sex on your own – see the section on masturbating. Lots of people in a relationship also masturbate.

Of course men can also have sex with men and women can have sex with women. See homosexuality.

 

FIND OUT ABOUT EACH OTHER

The nice thing about making love is you can find out about each other. Everyone has their own personal preferences and everyone experiences lovemaking differently. Making love can be gentle and tender or wild and passionate.

 

ARE YOU READY FOR IT?

You only have sex if you want to. That means if you’re ready for it. But is the other person also ready for it? And when does that time arrive? It’s different for everyone.

Sometimes you can both sense it in each other and you both want the same thing, but sometimes it doesn’t work out that way. This can lead to unpleasant misunderstandings. So be clear with each other about what you want. You can do this with words, but also without them.

 

CUDDLING

  • Making love is not the same as cuddling. When you cuddle someone it’s not about sex. Everyone needs a cuddle sometimes to feel happy. Cuddling is about warmth and affection. Making love is about sexual arousal and pleasure. When you’re in a relationship it’s good if there’s a place both for sex and for cuddles.
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