You can kiss, caress, lie together naked with your bodies pressed or rubbing together, talk intimately, stroke each other's genitals, give each other oral sex (the man licking or sucking the woman's clitoris or labia, the woman licking or sucking the man's penis), have intercourse (the man's penis inside the woman's vagina) or anal sex (the man's penis inside the woman's anus).
You can also have sex on your own – see the section on masturbating. Lots of people in a relationship also masturbate.
Of course men can also have sex with men and women can have sex with women. See homosexuality.
FIND OUT ABOUT EACH OTHER
The nice thing about making love is you can find out about each other. Everyone has their own personal preferences and everyone experiences lovemaking differently. Making love can be gentle and tender or wild and passionate.
ARE YOU READY FOR IT?
You only have sex if you want to. That means if you’re ready for it. But is the other person also ready for it? And when does that time arrive? It’s different for everyone.
Sometimes you can both sense it in each other and you both want the same thing, but sometimes it doesn’t work out that way. This can lead to unpleasant misunderstandings. So be clear with each other about what you want. You can do this with words, but also without them.
- Making love is not the same as cuddling. When you cuddle someone it’s not about sex. Everyone needs a cuddle sometimes to feel happy. Cuddling is about warmth and affection. Making love is about sexual arousal and pleasure. When you’re in a relationship it’s good if there’s a place both for sex and for cuddles.
Masturbating a man is also known – among many other things – as giving a hand-job. It’s when you rub or stroke the penis with your hand, usually back and forth over the head. This can give a really arousing feeling and can bring a man to orgasm. It’s different for every boy and can be different from time to time.
Masturbating a woman is also known as fingering. When you masturbate a woman, you touch her clitoris and the area around it: the labia and the opening to the vagina. Fingering can give a really arousing feeling and can bring a woman to orgasm. It’s different for every woman and can be different from time to time.
Oral sex on him
Oral sex on a man means stimulating the penis with your mouth. People also call it giving a blow-job, giving head, or ‘going down on’ a man. Many men find this very arousing, and it can bring them to orgasm. Some people only do this if they are in a very close relationship with the person, and others simply don’t like it.
Oral sex with her
Oral sex on a woman is when you stimulate her clitoris and vagina with your tongue and lips. People also call it ‘going down on a woman’. Many women find this very arousing, and it can bring them to orgasm.
If you’ve never done it, you’re not the only one. Half of all 17-year-olds have no experience with oral sex.
How do you do it?
There are lots of ways to give oral sex. It’s different for every woman and can be different from time to time.
- You can lick around or over the clitoris.
- You can lick the labia or inside the vagina.
- You can lick faster or slower, harder or more gently.