orgasm signs
© Love Matters India

How do girls get an orgasm?

By Auntyji Monday, January 20, 2020 - 16:05
Hi Aunty ji, how do girls know when they have an orgasm? My boyfriend asks me how often if I've come after sex. But I don't have an answer. Sanah, 18, Pune.

Auntyji says, ‘Aha bete, there's going to be no telegram for that one!’ 

Tell tale signs

So Sanah beta – first, things first! Don’t think the orgasm is going to be a stars popping, bells ringing event – it may and it may well not! If you are waiting for something BIG to happen and it doesn’t show up – that’s a big let down, right? So first let’s understand what are we waiting for and how are you going to find out.

Body talk

Ok beta, to hota kya hai, tentatively speaking that is, when you both begin to make out, it starts with foreplay –  ranging from hugging, kissing, touching  each other and everything you do to get into the act. Short cut main bolein to – excitement wala phase. After this, as you progress further in the act of sex and lovemaking (in whatever way you like and agree upon) the excitement gets to a peak and culminates in what is commonly called an orgasm - mota mota bolein toh! It is supposed to feel WOW and a lot more but frankly, everyone experiences it uniquely. Ab sawal yeh hai, ki kasie pata chale, haina?  

For men, it’s easier. Usually when they ejaculate a sticky white discharge called semen comes out, like a pichkari - sometimes zyada and sometimes kum! Ejaculation is considered to be the orgasm marker for men – that they have cum. While in women too – it’s much the same but the ejaculation is much lesser – usually and does not with the same ‘fanfare’ as men but rather a feeling of extra excitement and extra wetness. 

The comparative is the problem. It is crucial beta to realise that men’s body’s are very different from women’s and each experiences sex in a different way ! No one rule applies!

Thousand shades of orgasm  

Now your bf may be thinking – ‘hers ought to be like mine’ – you are thinking – ‘my orgasm is supposed to be like his?’ And in this wondering and thinking – you both seem to be missing the feeling that orgasms are best known for - fun, mazaa, charam anand, beta!!

Orgasms enjoy the reputation they do because of how they make you feel – how you experience them. They are supposed to be exciting, thrilling, fulfilling and everyone has their own words to describe the feeling they get - and thus they may differ from one person to another and even within each sexual experience one can experience orgasms differently at different times. 

Ah Ha to Big O! 

I’d say, give up the hua ki nahin hua Q&A. Be in the moment – be in touch with your bodies and feelings – for each other and the experience. Enjoy the process and the end result - not just for yourself but your partner as well. 

The question you both (especially the man) ought to be asking is, ‘How was it for you’ not ‘did it happen?’ Look for little tell tale signs – how is your partners body responding and feeling, what's seeming good for them, ask, pillow talk, communicate in subtle and overt ways to get to know what you and they seem to be enjoying and liking and desiring. Go for the BIG O – not Uff’O! 

*To protect the identity, names have been changed.

Have questions? Please ask Love Matters (LM) experts on our discussion forum. Don't forget to check out our Facebook  page.  

Love Matters India is an online platform that provides reliable, science-based and fact-based information on love, sex and relationships. Please explore more stories here. For facts related to sex, check this section.

Did you find this useful?

Rana bete please apne problem ko spasht rup se likhiye, taki hum aapko sahi salah de saken. Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna   chahte hain to hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho!
जैसे हम पुरुषों में सेक्स करने का एक निर्धारित समय सीमा होता है अर्थात स्खलन के बाद नही कर सकते क्या इसी तरह महिलाओं में भी एक निश्चित समय होता है उसके बाद वो नही कर सकते य फिर वो अनलिमिटेड समय तक कर सकते हैं उनकी कोई निर्धारित समय सीमा नही होता।
इसके बारे यहाँ पढ़ लीजिये: यदि इस मुद्दे पर आप और गहरी चर्चा में जुड़ना चाहते हैं, तो हमारे डिस्कशन बोर्ड, " जस्ट पूछो" में ज़रूर शामिल हों.
Nisha bete sabse pahli baat ki yadi sex dono pyaar ke saathiyoun ke beech ho, surakshit yaani bina koi zore zabardasti ke ho, so bahut hee achcha. Aur ek achhe sex ke liye zaruri hai ki sex mein woh activities ki jayein jisse dono hee partners ko ananad mile. Yeh link bhee padh lijiye: Saath hi sex activity mein alag-alag tariko ka istemal karte huye ise kaise aur majedaar banana hai is baare mein yaha padhein: Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna   chahte hain to hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho!
Jese boys m hota h ki unhe excitement m alg ejaculation hota h or sex m alg to kia esa girls m bhi jota h ki excitment m alg ejaculation or sex k waqt alg
Muskii beta girls ke orgasm ke bare mein adhik jankari ke liye is link ko padh lijiye: Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho!
Adesh beta uttejana hone par ya sex ki bhavana adhik hone par aisa hona bahut hi common hai, so, relax!! Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho!
Hi mam meri shadi ko 10 saal hogaye hai and mere 2 bachhe hai meri wife ka mujhme koi interest nhi Raha pahle 2 bar ek month mai ex hota tha ab wo month mai ek bar ka he bolti hai meri koi feelings nhi samajhti mai usko manane k liye sab kuch kar chuka hu married life barbad hoti jarhi hai kya karu
Hmm! aisa kyun ho raha hai? kya aap koi aisi activity kar rahe hain jo ki unhe pasand nahi aa rahi hai? Ya unko koi pareshani mahsus ho rahi hai?Sabse zaroori hoga ki aap unse pyar aur vishawas ke saath iski vajah poochein, bina jhagda, bina aalochna. Tab hee aap anumaan laga saktey hain, hain na? Yeh bhi yaad rakhiye, ki sex mein HAAN karna ya NAA, yeh bhi unka haq hai, unka nirnay… so yadi who Na kartee hain, so ek baat to tay hi ki koi bhi zor ya zabardasti bilkul allow nahin ha, samjhe beta jee?! zara yeh bhi padhiye : Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho!
Add new comment


  • Allowed HTML tags: <a href hreflang>