*Akriti, 25, is a media professional in Mumbai.
Come home
Himanshu and I had been talking about how hard it was to find compatible romantic partners, and I lamented that I had not yet even experienced myself sexually with another person.
‘Then come home’, he said, and I laughed hard. He laughed too. We both knew he meant it.
My pulse raced at the thought. We’d been friends for two years in a completely platonic way and now we were talking sex.
Himanshu was sexually active for nearly a decade but it would have been my first time for intercourse. I was nearly into my mid-20s.
I had been holding on to the idea of doing it with a special someone but had often desired him in my heart. We walked to the train station and took different trains to reach our homes.
The d-day
We both lived with our families, so, there was no space to put our idea into reality for a while. But, we started to express our desires over texts and almost had our act planned to the T.
A whole winter passed texting and waiting. One night in March, he told me that his family was going to be away the next day. So we decided, it was time! I chatted with him on WhatsApp that night.
‘I know intercourse might be uncomfortable for you, given the first time’, he said, ‘but there are ways of easing it like I could buy some lubricant.’
It was such a sexy thought and I felt good because he cared for my comfort.
We both took leave from work the next day and I travelled one hour to be at his place early the next morning.
What if?
Just five minutes before reaching his house, nervousness gripped me: what if he does not have a condom? What if I get pregnant?
I got off the auto rickshaw, stopped by at the medical store and stepped into the store to buy a pack of condoms and a bottle of lubricant. This was my first time doing this and dealing with all-male sales-staff was quite an experience.
Condoms were easier to pick once they were past the awkwardness of saying and hearing the word from a woman’s mouth. Explaining that I wanted a lubricant that’s used in sexual acts was the real struggle.
I finally had to name the brand of a condom company that also made lubricants, and that’s how they understood what I wanted. I stepped out the store with a sense of relief.
The rest of the way I felt as if I was carrying ammunition in my bag. I felt every eye was on me as if my bag was transparent and they could all see I was on my way to have sex! I hurried to his house.
Doubly prepared
We sat around for a whole chatting non-sexual things. Then, he put on the TV for some music and faced me while on his knees.
‘Should we break the ice now?’
His lips on mine felt like a part of me. I loved his touches. We moved to his bedroom from the living room. I unbuttoned and removed his shirt. He took off my top and unhooked my bra. Soon, we were naked. I had never been naked with anyone before.
We continued feeling each other while on the bed. After fifteen minutes, he asked, ‘should I enter you?’
As he reached out to the bedside table for a condom, I offered him the condom from my jeans pocket, and he laughed hard: ‘You thought I’d be so under-prepared?’
‘What’s the harm in being doubly prepared?’ I replied, smiling. We made love twice before falling asleep on his bed.
I woke up with a smile. My first time was a special one, not because I had waited for a special someone. But because I had felt so much at ease and so in charge of my very first sexual experience.
*To protect the identity, names have been changed and the person/s in the picture is/are models.
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