Auntyji Love Matters
Love Matters India

My fiancee wants to make out before marriage, should we?

By Auntyji Thursday, April 19, 2018 - 10:29
Hi Auntyji. I am about to get married and my fiancee is suggesting we start experimenting with love making to make sure it’s real fun on our honeymoon. Do you think it is a good idea? Kartik, 27, Chennai

Auntyji says, ‘Achha jee! Well, it is an idea and nothing wrong in expressing an idea. That’s what she is doing – yes?’

Girl’s side

Puttar what’s making you a bit double minded on this? So beta Kartik – let’s see it from her point of view.

There is something to be said for sexual chemistry. If it sparks off, great. But if not then it's going to be a hell of a dampener – that honeymoon. You will be spending too much time getting used to each other – just getting basically aware of each other. And sex may be a slow start.

So all she is perhaps suggesting is, let’s do the ‘groundwork’ before and when you get to the HM stage, you will have a rollicking, fun, experimental time.  Honeymoon ho to Kartik type ho! Like that.

Boy’s side

On the other hand, if you feel you are not ready to take that plunge now and want to wait for the HM days – you are very well entitled to the same as well.

It’s your body and it’s your right to say a Yay or Nay. Having said this – do let her know what you feel holds you back, what your reasons are and why you are ‘saving yourself’ till the honeymoon.  

Sometimes we are shy about sex and our partner is the opposite. Doesn’t make for a very great combo pack. Isn’t it much better you know that now than later?

Right side

Achha Kartik puttar, I hope you are not judging the wife-to-be as being sexually ahead only because she suggested a preview of the performance. A trailer for the full-length feature film? Kahin yeh to nahin?

Women who initiate sex are often looked upon as ‘too fast’ – the quintessential ‘chalu cheez’ or then as some frightening sexual predators – ‘yaar aurat ho ke sex?

How funny is that! I say if it happens and she is open about it – it’s an added bonus. At least you know that she is aware about these issues and possibly her body too. Isn’t that half the victory?

Kum se kum, you won’t have to conduct a beginners course and unwittingly take on the entire responsibility of sex on yourself. Pata chale you are feeling the pressure to perform and educate. And dono mein baat nahin ban rahee!

‘Life is a box of chocolates’

So begin small. Get to know each other. Check yourself and her out. Enjoy the sharing of bodies and pleasure. Give and get respect on how you handle the situation of sex – a package deal that comes with getting married.  

Ab yeh koi wedding present to hai nahin that if you don’t like it you can either palm it off on the next upcoming wedding or give it back to the one who gave it. This is the package deal where you are kind of stuck.

Wouldn’t it be much better if both of you check the contents of the ‘chocolate box?’ Pata chale – you both were looking and waiting for creamy chocolates – and nikla Mysore Pak!  

However, it’s equally possible the Mysore Pak is so yummy that you forget about the chocolate entirely. But at least you know and you know what to expect. Like you eat one chocolate (or mysore pak) its sooooo good that now you want to try the next and then the next and then more. That’s what your honeymoon may look like.

But of course, the final choice is yours. Decide on questions in your mind. Should we open the chocolate box and peep into it to ensure it’s what you were waiting for, hoping for? Won’t that be so delightful? For both of you? Your Auntyji does think that it is something to look forward to and explore together!

Enjoy your pre marriage days – dates – and have a lot of fun and frolic.

*To protect the identity, names have been changed and the person in the picture is a model.

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