Auntyji Love Matters
Love Matters

Is masturbation a bad habit?

By Auntyji Tuesday, December 30, 2014 - 10:50
I have a bad habit – masturbation. My friends make fun of me. In fact, I think of sex all day and I feel like having sex with any girl I meet. Do I have a mental sickness? Dhruv (19), Jabalpur.

Auntyji says… Oye, you don’t have a mental sickness puttar, you have a “society-made sickness.” Let me explain to you…

Past and present

To our country, which at one time celebrated sex and sexuality, pata nahin kiski nazar lag gayee. With passing of time, we have become very ashamed about sex and anything related to it. Unfortunately masturbation is often the first way in which adolescents understand their sexuality and that itself has been wrapped up in such a lot of myths. So many galat pahamee ki kehene ki hadh hee nahin.

It is as if all the world’s problems are because of masturbation. Not just this, even when we are growing up, everybody is so ashamed of their bodies. Girls are stooping, trying to hide their breasts; boys are hiding their moustaches or their breaking voices... Hain?! Yeh sab kya hai? All because samaaj is telling us, “I am watching you so don’t flaunt yourself.”

Most asked question

Now comes the question on masturbation or hastmaithun. Do you know how many boys write to us about this? Are you even aware? A very large part of the questions we respond to on this website and on Facebook are on this only!

Hastmaithun is one of the most discussed issues in the world, I think, and is pe you will find so many opposing views. So you better choose carefully. Beta Dhruv, there are many more boys like you who think they have a mental sickness, so you better relax.

 

Puttar ji, I am not going to waste my time telling you about masturbation, this website is full of information about it, and myths about masturbation too. Bas, aape vee kuch kar liyeo, but I will talk about two things here.

Is every women a sex object?

Objection sustained

First toh yeh gal ki, the minute you see any girl, you want to have sex with her, hain?! Kuddiyan koi toys hain? This is something you may want to work on, puttar Dhruv. The point is – how do you look at women, what type of relationships do you make, is every relationship based on sex for you? Is every women a sex object?

No, not! So get a grip jee, and stop this tamasha. Women are definitely not sex objects and to see them in that light is insulting and very disrespectful, to say the least. Imagine some girl is dealing with you as a friend, or as a colleague and all you can see in her is sex, sex, sex?

Batao, yehi baat je kuddi nu pata lag gayee naa, tenu padenge garam garam! And let me also tell you, beta, this attitude will get in your way of making any meaningful relationships with women, so you better work on this aspect first.

Dost or duffers

Ab rahee baat doston ki!... Who are these dosts? Just because you have told them about your “condition” they are happily making fun of you, but are you sure they too are not in the same boat? Masturbation kare toh they are like, “Hawwww,” na kare toh they are like, “Something amiss in you man!”

Do you really want to discuss this with them? Wasie kehne ko toh kuddiyan are always labelled as being the ones who talk about their private issues, but as we can see, this is a stereotype and men do talk about sex to their pals, sometimes a bit too much maybe!

Ab you are going to say, “Har ladki ko dekh ke mujhe bada sex jaagata hai.” Then obviously you are going to be the laughing stock of the colony! And if this gets around, every girl is going to call you, “Jaagtey raho Dhurv!”

Chal hun. Relax reh. Play some games, some activities, join a gym, go for a run... don’t spend your whole day masturbating or thinking about how to do it or how to not do it, but thinking about it is all right!

To protect the author's privacy, the person in the photo is a model.

Got more questions about masturbation? Write to Auntyji by leaving a comment below or via Facebook.

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Comments
suresh kumar
Thu, 11/06/2014 - 09:16
mera penis erection k baad 5 inches ka hota h or bhot hard ho jata kafi der tak hard hi rehta hai lekin kisi ne mujhe bataya tha ki sex ke liye 7 inches ka penis hona jaruri h. ab meri 6 month baad shaadi hone wali h to kya mere sex life me problem ayegi.please mujhe iska answer batayein hindi mein please.
aunti ji meri age 23 he meri problem ye h k mera ling din me kayi baar tanav me aa jata h halaki me masterbation kar k khud ko shant kr leta hu par muje masterbate krne k baad guilt feel hota h. kya muje koi bimari h ya aisa hona is age me normal he or plz koi aisa upaye bataiye jis se mera ling jyada tanav me na aaye or me masterbate na Karu plzz help me...
aunti ji sarir me patla hu aur hastmathun roj kar leta hu mujhe samajh me ni aata kya karu aap mujhe itna bata do ki saptah me kitni bar hastmathun karne pr mai thik ho jaunga
Manish jolly
Sat, 05/06/2017 - 10:30
Maine 9 sal tak lagtar hastmethun kia hai jishshe mera ling dheela kajor pad gaya hai ab mai kisi ladki k sath sex karta hu to mera ling uski yoni me nahi ghusta kya karu
Manish beta, relax! Iska kaaran hastmaithun nahin ho sakta kyunki yeh ek safe/surakshit tareeka hai apni santushti karne ka. Yeh padhiye: http://lovematters.in/hi/news/first-time-sex-top-five-facts http://lovematters.in/hi/resource/making-love http://lovematters.in/hi/resource/ways-make-love Kahin aap kisi tension, pressure mein toh nahi hain na? yeh samjh lijiye ki sex karne ke liye bilkul tanav mukt hona zaruri hai bête. Iss baaray mein aur yaha padh lo : https://lovematters.in/hi/news/4-signs-you-have-erectile-dysfunction https://lovematters.in/hi/news/erection-trouble-where-turn Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Beta jaldi ho ne se koi baat nahi, dont worry. So sabse pehle toh apni partner ki body ko samjh lijiye- unko time dijiye. Aur yadi shareer menin uttejna adhik hogi, sex ki bhavna zyada hogi toh shighrpatan hone ki sambhavna bhi adhik ho sakti hai. Aisee stithi mein, partner par focus badhana, foreplay , pravesh karne se pehle bahut se alag alag kriyaein karna , jinse dono ko aanand mile, apne partner kee uttejna badhana, yeh sab activities sabse zaroori hain. Iske ilava, partner ke saath sex karne se pehle, ek baar hastmaithun kar saktey hain, utne samay pehele jitne mein ling mein tanaav aa jaaye. Condom ka istemaal bhi jaldi discharge kum karne mein madadgaar saabit ho sakta hai. Yaha padhiye: https://lovematters.in/hi/news/premature-ejaculation-top-five-facts https://lovematters.in/hi/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/i-ejaculate-too-soon-help Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
बेटा जल्दी होने से कोई बात नहीं, don't worry. सबसे पहले तो अपनी पार्ट्नर की बॉडी को समझ लो- उसको टाइम दो. और यदि शरीर में उत्तेजना अधिक होगी, सेक्स की भावना ज़्यादा होगी तो शीघ्र पतन होने की संभावना भी अधिक ही होगी.ऐसी स्थिती में, पार्ट्नर पर फोकस बढ़ाना, फोरप्ले , यानी की प्रवेश करने से पहले बहुत से अलग अलग क्रियाएं करना , जिनसे दोनो को आनंद मिले, अपने पार्ट्नर की उत्तेजना बढ़ाना, यह सब activities सबसे ज़रूरी हैं. इसके इलावा, पार्ट्नर के साथ सेक्स करने से पहले, एक बार हस्त्मेथुन कर सकते हैं, उतने समय पहले जीतने में लिंग में तनाव आ जाए. कॉंडम का इस्तेमाल भी जल्दी discharge में help करता है. https://lovematters.in/hi/news/premature-ejaculation-top-five-facts https://lovematters.in/hi/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/i-ejaculate-too-soon-help यदि इस मुद्दे पर आप और गहरी चर्चा में जुड़ना चाहते हैं, तो हमारे डिस्कशन बोर्ड, " जस्ट पूछो" में ज़रूर शामिल हों. https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Bete virya ka gadha-mota ya patla hone se koi sambandh nahi hai zara yeh padho: https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/ejaculation lovematters.in/hi/our-bodies/male-body/is-masturbation-making-my-semen-watery https://lovematters.in/en/our-bodies/male-body/semen-top-five-facts Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
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