Aunty ji
Love Matters India

Is it ok to have a sexual fling before marriage?

By Auntyji Thursday, June 28, 2018 - 10:13
I will soon be marrying a man my parents have chosen. Before I get married, I want to have sex with another man, who I like but do not want to get married to. Is this dangerous? B, 24, Kanpur.

Auntyji says, ‘Oh ho achcha ... Beta B, let’s first be sure about your reasons to take this plunge. Let’s discuss a few. ‘

Why now?

So beta the first question I think you need to ask yourself is, why do you want to do this? You know this guy you like for a while – yes? Then why the desire to have sex with him, now, before you get married. You could have done it before too, why do you want it so much more now,? Abhi kyun? Is this a need to come close to a man you have some feeling for or is it an assertion – I can take risks too! Consider both.

Is it because you feel, ek last fling toh banta hai? And you think that before you marry, you must get to sample some fun too? And what better way than to do it with some reckless and torrid sex with a guy you like, another man –something new and exciting!

Puttar B, you may want to consider it a bit more thoroughly. Sex can be really fun and give you that sense of freedom – no doubt. But as long as it does not bring any extra baggage or burden, later. Museebat yeh hai – you have to kind of decide now. Once it’s done – you won’t get a chance to undo it, see?

Bawdy talk

I have no holds on having sex before marriageshareer is yours, control ought to be yours too. Just be sure why you are going about it, so that you have no regrets later. For instance, your new husband turns out to be the most wonderful person and the sassiest lover – you are blown away by his love and charm and now begin to regret that, ‘Oh ho, why did I do that before I married this great guy!’

What if it turns out he asks you, ‘darling, you are my one and only love – I hope you are as pure for me as I am for you’ or some such filmi dialogue; which by the way we hear over and over –are you ready with a ‘lifelong’ answer?  

Will you choose, ‘No! Never! It’s been you and only you’, or will you go with the, ‘truth shall prevail!’ Your husband could react either way – are you ready for that? What if this another guy turns out to be rubbish lover B... ek dum useless... then? Aye haye –thoda sampling kar lena, before you order the entire four-course – intercourse!

(No) Dangerous Liaisons

No, it’s not dangerous at all – hey, what danger can there be but for these later on regrets and maybe guilt pangs? It's your personal choice – even if it's your last ‘salute to singledom’ – your choice entirely! Go ahead – just be safe, ensure you trust the person you want to have sex with and use a condom. Fulfill each desire – every fantasy – but with no regrets at all – is that fine?

Do what you think will give you your sense of liberation – sense of well, power. But uske baad – no looking back – no rona dhona, no regrets. Ok? Ab you sit and think and make a decision. It will be the best one for you, I am sure.  Don’t forget the condoms, for this one and the other!

*To protect the identity, names have been changed and the person/s in the picture is/are models.

Do you have any questions on premarital sex? Ask Love Matters (LM) on our Facebook page or consult LM experts on our discussion forum.

Comments
Mustafa Rao
Sun, 07/01/2018 - 14:54
Aunti ji mai aek ladki se roj baat karta hoon phone se uske saanth sex karna chahta hoon Kaise karoon kuchh bhi kahta hoon aane ke liye raaji nahi horahi hai
Bete sex ke liye dono partners ki barabar ki marzi ka hona zaroori hain. Jab unhe interest hi nahi hain aapke saath sex karne mein toh iska sammaan kijiye. Na ka matlab na hi hota hain. Apna chintan swasth kijiye. Yadi aapke man mein koi bhee aur sawaal hain aur aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board ‘Just Poocho’ mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
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