Are you insecure about your partner?

Daring confessions: Our deepest fears in bed

By Ganesh N Friday, December 11, 2015 - 18:40
Are you worried about your performance or body while having sex? Love Matters asked few youngsters to share their deepest fears in bed. Here’s what they said…

‘Shed those extra pounds?’

-Zara* (27), production assistant.

Being overweight makes me very insecure. My partner and I are getting engaged soon. I know for a fact that he is my perfect match. We have shared intimate moments together too. However, until today he has never seen me naked. It is always dark whenever we have sex.

I do trust him when he tells me that he loves me for what I am. But when I am alone, I see my stretch marks and my loose skin in the mirror and all my confidence is washed away. I am always scared of losing my partner’s interest in me due to my weight.

‘Performance matters’

- Kaustubh* (21) college student.

I just need the assurance that I am good in bed. After having sex, I always ask my partner whether she enjoyed it. It has actually nothing to do with my partner, it is more about my performance. I only want to know whether I am good or is there anything I could do to make her feel better.

When they appreciate my skills in bed, it makes me feel elated. Of course I want to be known as a good lover. Sometimes they just smile or don't say anything. That makes me question my techniques.

‘It ends at your size’

-Saurabh* (25), law student.

My biggest insecurity, like most men, is my size. I feel I am not well endowed with the best penis size. Let’s just say that I am lesser than four inches when aroused.


My biggest fear is that a woman would be so put off looking at it that she just either laughs at my size or simply ends it right there.


‘No shooting!’

-Arpita* (25), advertising professional.

Landing up all over the internet is surely my biggest fear. I am currently not seeing anyone and I am just choosing to stay in a ‘friends with benefits’ situation.

I am very careful of who I am sleeping with. I am always left in a state of shock after reading stories and watching news of video clips being uploaded by jealous boyfriends and lovers or stalkers. If I am at someone else’s place I constantly wonder whether stuff is being recorded.

‘Shared pleasure?’

-Rohan* (27), businessman.

My girlfriend is absolutely gorgeous. I am quite serious about our future. We also have a terrific time in the bedroom. The only thing that bothers me is my insecurity. When she tries certain moves, I keep thinking whether she must have done the same with her past boyfriends.

Though she had just two past boyfriends, it still affects me. I keep thinking whether she enjoyed it the same way she is enjoying with me. Whenever she tries something new, I can’t help but think about it.

*Names have been changed to protect identity.

What are your insecurities and fears? Write your experiences in comments or start a discussion on Facebook.

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