Why is she so quiet when we have sex?

By Auntyji Tuesday, August 6, 2013 - 16:47
Q: Auntyji, when I perform oral sex on my girlfriend, or when we have intercourse, she doesn't make any sounds at all. I can feel from the way she moves that she enjoys it, but it does worry me that she doesn't make a sound. Sidhant, Meerut

Auntyji says... So if you know she is enjoying it, why the anxiety beta? You see, there are all kinds of people in this world, not everyone responds the way we want or expect.

Ask herIt seems the thing is a bit ulta here. Now what you need to understand for a minute is whose need is this – she seems to be enjoying what’s happening but is very quiet... who wants to hear the sounds and noises? You! So it is very possible that it is you who is missing it more, isn’t it? Now we can’t exactly dictate how our partner should enjoy sex, can we, as long as they are liking it – that’s very good indeed!Now surely you have asked her, “Why are you so silent, darling?” Or have you not? That’s one good idea to do so. Ask her questions like, “Do you like it, am I missing something, is it good for you and why are you so quiet?” You can even say that, that I miss hearing from you, I miss your responses and “Koi kami toh nahin reh gayee?

Pillow talkWomen really appreciate being asked, and feel wanted because their partner wants to please them – wasie toh, even men feel rather happy for the same.

Traditionally it’s usually easier for men to talk about their desires, likes and wants, and more difficult for women, so when it happens, girls are happy. So don’t hold back on the questions. Of course don’t overdo it either – it’s not like you need to have a questionnaire ready!Noises and sounds are very much a part of a sexual act, but maybe your girl is not the sort, and that’s fine too. That’s her comfort zone. What you can try however is some ‘pillow talk’. Try simple and sexy questions – “Do you like this?” ”Is this good for you?” “I love what you’re doing! Do you like it too?” And in one sense she will make some responses, won’t she?Tell-tale signsThere are people who are very closed to talking about sex and during sex. Equally there are people who love to talk and ask and respond and show their feelings. Both are just lovely, as long as both the partners are happy and enjoying what is happening,There are some tell-tale signs as well, some which you have yourself noted, like her body responds, her vagina becomes wetter, and most importantly she seems to be enjoying it – you have even said that she reaches orgasm... well, that’s most of the job done, is it not!So now just calm yourself down. To satisfy yourself, ask her why is she so quiet and consider her response as a mark of her comfort. Encourage her with sweet and sexy questions during sex but keep it comfortable for her too. Try some music while you make love and see if that makes you feel a bit better. Relax and enjoy being with each other as opposed to second guessing whether she’s liking it or not.

Auntyji is sponsored by DKT.

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