Myths
Growing up, all of us hear masturbation myths: you’ll get acne, fever, stomach aches, bad eyesight etc. And then there is the other religious, spiritual blackmail list: God won’t be happy with you, you’ll go to hell, it’s a sin, and so on and so forth.
But today, we’ve left (or at least would like to leave) all that behind us. We celebrate events like the ‘Masturbate-a-thon’ – a collective event in the US where men and women pleasure themselves for charity. The money raised goes to reproductive healthcare for the poor. Great idea!The underlying message: masturbation is good for reproductive health. It’s safe and easy. It’s about loving yourself. It’s giving yourself something you deserve. Don’t hold yourself back from indulging in it. We’ve made peace with the fact that masturbation doesn’t do us any harm.
The figures
That’s dealt with then. Now, is it true that women masturbate less than men? I did a bit of Googling and found out from dear friend Wikipedia that research has in fact found it to be true – women do masturbate less than men.A study conducted in the UK a few years ago found that only 18 percent of the women taking part in the survey had masturbated in the seven days prior to the interview, whereas the figure among males was as high as 53 percent. So, going by these figures, my friend was right – women are not so big on masturbating.Then the obvious question remains – why?
Social acceptance
“It’s socially less acceptable for women to masturbate. Traditionally, a woman isn’t supposed to have sexual desires. She’s supposed to be just there to provide for her man, isn’t she?” my friend said when I pushed the argument further. Fair point. If women started sexual fantasies and touching themselves when their men weren’t around, wouldn’t the chauvinists go haywire? Women going ‘astray’ with sexual thoughts is perhaps the worst thing that could happen to a conservative society.
Strong urge
“I’m not a woman, so I don’t know how easy it is for women to masturbate, but it’s pretty simple for men to go out there and lose some sperm. I could do it in some public toilet if I really had to. Could you?” he asked.Oh no! No way! It’s just not a comfortable thing to do. It’s not something that could happen in a dingy loo. You know why those perfumed candles sell so well. It’s all about the mood, it’s about the right setting.“But if you have a really strong urge to do it, how could you wait? How could you hold on?” my friend asked.“Well, I’m just not that desperate,” I said. And he jumped.“See, I told you, you’re just not that horny. I rest my case – women are not as horny as men. And so they don’t masturbate as much.”
The views expressed in our blogs don’t necessarily represent those of Love Matters. To protect the identity, the person in the picture is a model and names have been changed.
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Gayatri Parameswaran is a multi-award winning writer, director and producer of immersive media works. She was born and raised in India and is currently based in Berlin, where she co-founded NowHere Media - a storytelling studio that views contemporary issues through a critical lens. She also edited the Love Matters website in its initial years. Check out more about her here.