Auntyji
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I have sex but still masturbate – is that normal?

By Auntyji Tuesday, July 10, 2012 - 13:51
Q: Is it strange that I masturbate even though I have sex with my girlfriend? We've been together for six months and we’ve had sex from the start. But even after having sex with her, I’ve masturbated a few times. Is that abnormal? Shams, Phagwara

Auntyji says... Shams Puttar, I also have a question for you. I really like eating ice-cream and eat it every day. But sometimes I feel like eating gulab jamun also. Is that wrong because I am also enjoying a lot of ice cream? Actually don’t answer, but you know where I am going with this.

Masturbation and intercourse are two different kinds of sexual pleasure and they can’t necessarily replace each other. And they don’t have to. Yes, they both lead to similar pleasures but it’s the way that the orgasm is achieved that differentiates them.

And if you ask me, it’s perfectly normal to enjoy both sex and masturbation. Not at the same time, but maybe the same day. Though come to think of it, ice cream and gulab jamun are great together. So maybe you can experiment a bit here as well.

Normal, natural, safe
I am very happy to note that you understand that masturbation in itself is a very normal and natural thing to do. It won’t make you go blind and is an incredibly safe method of sexual gratification. So why worry about it at all?

Betaji, being in a relationship doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t masturbate. Yes, you boys don’t like to use your hands for anything once you have a girlfriend. But sometimes it’s good to cook your own food. And sometimes it’s good to take care of your sexual needs yourself too. Let’s face it, all of us do like to be in control – of our destiny and our pleasure.

Now it seems like that you consciously took the decision to put an end to the self-gratification. Since it wasn’t mandated by your girlfriend, it won’t be too complex to revoke your bhishma pratigya. I don’t see any reason that she’ll have any trouble.

Spicing things up
In fact, she’ll be relieved enough to reveal her masturbatory schedule to you as well. But to remove all potential conflicts, maybe you can gently explain to her that your masturbation is not a declaration of her inadequacy but just your way of spicing things up. Call it the achaar in your sex life if you please.

OK, too many food analogies. It’s time for me to get something to eat. But Shams betaji, do remember that a fulfilling sex life can include any ratio of sexual intercourse and masturbation from both (or more) partners involved. And you seem to be having fun with your girlfriend and without her. So why worry? Have enough Rooh Afza and grin widely at how well things are going for you.

Auntyji says... Shams Puttar, I also have a question for you. I really like eating ice-cream and eat it every day. But sometimes I feel like eating gulab jamun also. Is that wrong because I am also enjoying a lot of ice cream? Actually don’t answer, but you know where I am going with this.

Masturbation and intercourse are two different kinds of sexual pleasure and they can’t necessarily replace each other. And they don’t have to. Yes, they both lead to similar pleasures but it’s the way that the orgasm is achieved that differentiates them.

And if you ask me, it’s perfectly normal to enjoy both sex and masturbation. Not at the same time, but maybe the same day. Though come to think of it, ice cream and gulab jamun are great together. So maybe you can experiment a bit here as well.

Normal, natural, safe
I am very happy to note that you understand that masturbation in itself is a very normal and natural thing to do. It won’t make you go blind and is an incredibly safe method of sexual gratification. So why worry about it at all?

Betaji, being in a relationship doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t masturbate. Yes, you boys don’t like to use your hands for anything once you have a girlfriend. But sometimes it’s good to cook your own food. And sometimes it’s good to take care of your sexual needs yourself too. Let’s face it, all of us do like to be in control – of our destiny and our pleasure.

Now it seems like that you consciously took the decision to put an end to the self-gratification. Since it wasn’t mandated by your girlfriend, it won’t be too complex to revoke your bhishma pratigya. I don’t see any reason that she’ll have any trouble.

Spicing things up
In fact, she’ll be relieved enough to reveal her masturbatory schedule to you as well. But to remove all potential conflicts, maybe you can gently explain to her that your masturbation is not a declaration of her inadequacy but just your way of spicing things up. Call it the achaar in your sex life if you please.

OK, too many food analogies. It’s time for me to get something to eat. But Shams betaji, do remember that a fulfilling sex life can include any ratio of sexual intercourse and masturbation from both (or more) partners involved. And you seem to be having fun with your girlfriend and without her. So why worry? Have enough Rooh Afza and grin widely at how well things are going for you.

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