faking orgasms
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I do not orgasm with my partner. Please help!

By Auntyji Friday, May 31, 2019 - 10:59
I don’t get an orgasm while having sex with my partner, but I am able to get one only when I masturbate. Should I fake one when we make out? Kalyani, 26, Patna

Auntyji says…’That’s one way of doing it Kalyani – the only problem is it is not very sustainable. Should we look up other options?'

Find it first

So I say, let’s attend to first things first, why not orgasm? Orgasm is a good thing – we all ought to have a regular supply.  And if it’s with a good enough partner – even better. But that’s the issue here, is it not? Dekh beta Kalyani – the boyfriend may be a great boyfriend but also a dull lover – that can be a bit of a situation, no? And very honestly – very often – never the twain do meet! But we have to work with what we got... at least try.

Self-exam

Are you missing something? In sex I mean. Have you figured it out for yourself? Is the boyfriend the sex man too – or are they poles apart? Will he be able to – or is he the – ‘inse ho na payega’ ? You would know by now – no?  Kalyani Puttar – if the sex chemistry is not gelling between the two of you, it’s going to take a bit of doing, as we say.  But first – make sure you know what you what – and even, don’t want.  

If you think he is not working it right – Kalyani – tell him. Talk to the man and explain what your dil dimaag and shareer wants and desires. Have a conversation in a cool coffee shop, near Gandhi Maidan... and talk about it – shanti se – aaram se! See what he has to say and what doe she have to offer.

I’d recommend it is not a ‘you are a terrible lover’ sort of conversation – but rather – ‘I want to make to better for us’ – sort of a chat.  Tell him what you want and miss and how you both can better it between you. Just make sure he doesn’t feel awful about himself – after all he is a good guy!

Salute to the M word

Masturbation: Kalyani – you both can still do a lot of stuff, play and romp and be sexual and all of that and you can still use masturbation to cum – with him – in the room – on the same bed or shower, or kitchen slab or dining table or wherever you want to do it. That’s very much fun sex too.

And what’s more, he can even do it for you! How about you give that a try! Puttar, if masturbation does it for you, go ahead! It’s not a mark of how poor a lover he is just because you are making yourself cum. You both were in it together – so far right – so it’s still a joint effort no? Clitoral stimulation, self stimulation is a very rocking way to get rocking – even better together. Frankly you know your body best – isn’t it?

Be bekhauf

Beta I have a philosophy on partnership in sex. You love the guy – you weep and cry with him, you laugh with him, you even ‘bitch’ about your closest people with him – hai na? You also get naked with him? So then what’s the ego – be bekhauf with him – or her.  

What’s to hide from someone you love – unabashedly? You want something in sex – tell them – respect their choice – you want to do something to give each other pleasure and happiness – again take full and firm consent and go for it... drop the sudden coyness and shame around sex betaji – for there is none. Hopefully your partner will be wo/man enough to handle it! Pyaar keeya to sharmana kya... at least not with each other.

#OrgasmInequality

#FakeOrgasm

To protect the author's privacy, the person in the photo is a model. This article was first published on July 17, 2018. 

How do your orgasm? If you have a specific question, please ask LM experts on our discussion forum.

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Orgasm: What's the big secret?

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Comments
Soni Sharma
Mon, 07/23/2018 - 15:57
Mera Naam Soni Sharma h meri age 21 h m Delhi m rehti hu Mam mane aap se pucha tha ab mujh ye Janna h ki meri date 22 Ko aani thi lakin aayi nhi or mane pargnansy test bhi kar Liya usne normal h par meri date bhi nhi aayi or mere pet m bhi Dard rehta h mujh ye puchna h ki pargnansy ka kitne din bad pata chalta h date na aane ke bad mera bf or mujh ye Jana jaruri h mam fir ham dono koyi decision lege please mam help me
Ab kya situation hain, Soni beti? Kya aapke periods aayein? Pregnancy test last unsafe sex ke 10 din baad kiya jana chahiye. Dard ke baare mein aap kisi panjikrit doctor se consult kar sakti hain. Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board ‘Just Poocho’ mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Hy mem actually me or meri gf dono first time sex krna chahte h bt hm dono chahte h bina condom k ho bt dar lagta h k khi pregnant ho gyi to islie m ye puchna chahta hu k sex k bad agar I pill kha le to kya 100 % guarantee rhti h k pregnancy nahi hogi plzz help me and give best suggestion plzzz
Dekhiye Pranav bete, bina condom ke sex karna apne aap mein ek safe idea bilkul bhee nahi hai. Isse anchahe garbh ke saath kai youn rog hone kaa bhi khatra ho sakta hai. Aur I Pill ek emergency goli hai jo ki unsafe sex ke 72 ghanton ke andar hee lee jaati hai, jitnee jaldi so behtar. Lekin yeh mahila ke masik dharm par asar kar saktee hai.PLEASE in goliyon ko laparvahi se istemaal mat keejiye. Safe sex ke liye condom ka istemal kiya jaata hai naa ki emergency pills ka bete, yaha padhiye zara: https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/safe-sex https://lovematters.in/hi/birth-control/top-10-facts-about-emergency-contraceptive-pills https://lovematters.in/hi/birth-control/chosing-the-right-birth-control/morning-after-pills-instead-of-condoms-is-that-ok Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
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