He just enters me and then…
Shutterstock/soumen82hazra/Person in the photo is a model

He just enters me and then…

By Jyoti Tuesday, August 9, 2022 - 15:47
He just thrusts his penis into my vagina and we are done! I want him to satisfy me, but I am helpless. Sumi shares her story of unfulfilled sexual desires with Love Matters India.

Sumi, 22, is a newly-married woman from Bihar.

That sweet pain 

On my 19th birthday gift, my friends gave me a vibrator. I had no idea how to use it. After I Googled it, I understood how to use it to pleasure myself. At first, it felt very strange, but it gradually gave way to sweet pain.  After a while, I started touching myself too.  

I would caress my vulva with my hands and stroke the labiaIt was a very strange yet wonderful first feeling in my life - something like sex! Slowly, I started to explore my body more closely. Believe me, I had no idea that my body could have such desires.

Soon, I found the love button known as the clitoris. It became my happy place. 

I got married after a few years and was so looking forward to getting intimate with my husband. I thought that I would get plenty of sex. Sex, I got, but something was amiss. 

Penis in vagina

My husband is five years older than me and we do not have the compatibility that a couple should have. 

I was unable to communicate my desires to him because of the huge age gap. Now, I can’t use my vibrator too. It is lying hidden somewhere in my old house. It has probably stopped working too! 

During sex, my husband does not spend much time on my body. Orgasm is a far-fetched thought for me. He just puts his penis in my vagina and after some time the act of sex is over. 

But I want more. I want him to caress me, caress my vulva, stroke my labia, kiss my breasts but that doesn't happen. With the vibrator, I used to get pleasure according to my desires. However, now I do not feel any sexual excitement or sexual pleasure.

An unfulfilled dream 

I wish my husband were of my age, then he might have understood my needs and desires. Whenever I try to communicate, he says, I am being kiddish and this only happens in the movies! 

He doesn't even kiss the lower part of my neck. It is disheartening to me as my friend told me the excitement one could feel if your partner kisses your neck. Perhaps, my dream to be loved and caressed and feel an orgasm with him will forever remain unfulfilled. 

I think that as long as people think and believe that sex only means putting a penis in a vagina, they won't understand the real meaning of pleasurable sex. Sex is just the opposite. For good sex, two people need to have a union of the mind, body and soul. It has to be a mutually pleasurable experience and not just an act for one person’s happiness. 

Both partners should enjoy sex when it happens. They should care about each other’s pleasure. Until that happens, it just feels like a ritual being performed every night. Like it does for me.

To protect the identity, the person in the picture is a model and names have been changed. 

Have a similar story? Share with Love Matters (LM) on our Facebook page. If you have a specific question, please ask LM experts on our discussion forum. We are also on Instagram, YouTube and Twitter. 

Did you find this useful?

Elizebath muyide
Tue, 08/16/2022 - 17:27
What u just say is nothing but d true, my husband don't even no how to make love,each time we won to make love he just put is pennis inside my virginal without make romancy me and i have complaine to him severly time he will still continue doing it and i am tired of dis nonsence, even to kiss me as is wife he will do it, he say he don't no how to kiss but he no how to put is pennis inside my virginal.
Elizebath dear, thanks for sharing..Auntyji wants to suggest you that if it is possible try to share your feelings and wishes to your husband..hope he will understand...Read and share this link to him also: https://lovematters.in/hi/news/how-can-i-please-my-wife-bed   https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/her-orgasms If you would like to join in on a further discussion on this topic, join our discussion board, "Just Ask" . https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Beene obrey
Sat, 09/03/2022 - 01:53
I also fail to understand such acts to us men! Could that be a problem which needs help to proffesional doctors? In order for our women to be satisfied
For a good sex, it needs to perform those activities which enjoy both partners. So, understand your partner's body - give her time. Increasing focus on the partner, foreplay that both partners enjoy, means doing many different activities before entering, increasing the excitement of your partner, all these activites are most important. Read here: https://lovematters.in/hi/news/how-can-i-please-my-wife-bed   https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/her-orgasms   https://lovematters.in/en/making-love/orgasms/women-who-have-more-orgasms-whats-their-secret If you would like to join in on a further discussion on this topic, join our discussion board, "Just Ask" . https://lovematters.in/en/forum
main 12 saal ki umar se hasthamethun kar raha hu , abhi main 22 year old hu jab main 16 saal ka tha tab 7 minutes tak virya nhi nikalta tha ab to 2 minutes me nikal jata hai abhi to meri shadi hone ki hai , aur to meri health nhi badh rahi hain ab main kya karu please koi Salah do please
Bete iska karan hastmaithun nahi ho sakta hai kyunki hastmaithun ek safe /surakshit tareeka hai apni santushti karne ka. Isse koi nuksaan ya beemari nahi hoti. Yeh bhee padhiye: https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/men-masturbating Aur yadi shareer menin uttejna adhik hogi, sex ki bhavna zyada hogi toh shighrpatan hone ki sambhavna bhi adhik ho sakti hai. Aisee stithi mein, partner par focus badhana, foreplay , pravesh karne se pehle bahut se alag alag kriyaein karna , jinse dono ko aanand mile, apne partner kee uttejna badhana, yeh sab activities sabse zaroori hain. Iske ilava, partner ke saath sex karne se pehle, ek baar hastmaithun kar saktey hain, utne samay pehele jitne mein ling mein tanaav aa jaaye. Condom ka istemaal bhi jaldi discharge kum karne mein madadgaar saabit ho sakta hai. Health ko improve karne ke liye aap apne khane pine par dhyan dijiye aur chahen toh ek panjikrit doctor ya ek dietician se mil lijiye. Yaha padhiye: https://lovematters.in/hi/news/premature-ejaculation-top-five-facts https://lovematters.in/hi/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/i-ejaculate-too-soon-help Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna   chahte hain to hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Sorry beta, hum kisi bhi medicine ka naam aapko nahi bata sakte! Aur naa hi is tarah koi bhi medicine lena swasth hai! Please! Jaldi se kisi visheshagya ya achchhe panjikrit doctor se miliye aur dekhiye kya ho sakta hai. Aap MTP ki maang kar sakti hai, kisi bhi clinic mein. Kisi bharosemand doctor ki rai leejiye aur kisi neem hakeem ya chemist ki baaton mein bilkul mat aa jaaiye – DOCTOR ONLY. https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/unplanned-pregnancy Iske alawa aap FPAI clinic se sampark kar sakte hai jiski jaankari aapko issi website pe mil jayegi. https://www.ippf.org/about-us/member-associations/india Time mat gavaiye, jadli keejiye... Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna   chahte hain to hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Dekhiye bete! Iska bhi dhyan rakhna chahiye ki kisi bhi sexual activity mein ek cheez bohot hi important hai woh hai dono logo ki sehmati. Is baaray mein yaha padhein: https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/making-love https://lovematters.in/hi/love-and-relationships/meeting-someone/saying-no https://lovematters.in/hi/love-and-relationships/do-indian-men-not-understand-consent Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
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