couple enjoying
Shutterstock/Abir Bhattacharya

Enjoying sex is good for you

By Sarah Wednesday, November 6, 2019 - 17:15
People who really enjoy sex have a healthier mindset, research shows. If you love oral sex and have fantastic orgasms, you probably feel pretty good about yourself!

Guys and girls who orgasm more during sex have higher self-esteem. They’re also probably independent thinkers, making decisions based on what’s right for them and not what others think they should do.

And it’s not just the big orgasm that matters. These positive characteristics are also found in young adults who love giving and getting oral sex, according to a US study of over 3000 18 to 26 year olds.

Sex research so often studies the serious side of things like protecting against STDs and pregnancy. Of course safe sex is important, but so is sexual pleasure! This study was the first to look at whether healthy personality traits like self-esteem have anything to do with enjoying sex.

The more sex pleasure you give, the more you get

They definitely do, the research showed, though it’s not known if that’s because young adults who have these traits in the first place enjoy sex more. Something to keep in mind before you jump into bed to boost your self-esteem.

Empathy is another characteristic that has a lot to do with sexual bliss. People who are empathetic are really able to feel what someone else is going through. So it makes total sense that if you’re empathetic you’ll probably enjoy giving pleasure just as much as you do receiving it. It could work like a kind of positive feedback loop where the more pleasure you give, the more you get.

This is especially true for women, the study found. The reason might be that in some cultures it’s less acceptable and maybe more difficult for women to express sexual desire and pleasure. So when they do enjoy sex, it could work wonders on their self-esteem and sense of independence.

Who enjoys sex more?

But it’s not all good news. Guys enjoy sex more than women do, at least among the teens that were part of this study. Not only do they orgasm far more often than women – something which isn’t exactly news – but they also get more pleasure from giving oral sex than women do.

So what stops many young women from enjoying sex? Though this study didn’t go into details, other research has come up with some ideas. For some women, it could be a question of not being in touch with their sexual side. If they don’t yet know what they enjoy, and what they don’t, it could be difficult to talk about sex with their partner and to guide them.

Though lots more young men say sex is pleasurable, there are definitely times when it’s not. Performance anxiety and worrying about pleasing their partners top the list of reasons that make sex a less than enjoyable experience for a guy, research has found.

Source: The association between developmental assets and sexual enjoyment among emerging adults, Galinsky AM, Sonenstein FL.

This article was originally published on 25-06-2014. 

To protect the identity, the person in the picture is a model. 

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