Auntyji Love Matters
Love Matters

Dumped after one-night stand - help me get over it!

By Auntyji Tuesday, June 18, 2013 - 14:43
Q: Dear Auntyji, last week I had a one-night stand and the boy doesn’t want to stay in touch. I now feel unattractive and worthless. I feel as though I am not wanted any more. It's terrible. How can I get over this depression? Sanjana, Pune

Auntyji says... My darling Sanju, come to Auntyji for the tightest jhappi ever. Don't feel bad about what happened. The problem is he didn’t understand what you expected. Maybe you didn’t understand yourself.

You say that you had a one-night stand last week. But perhaps deep down you didn’t want a one-night stand? When you hooked up, were you really hoping it would lead to more? Maybe you only realised the way you were really feeling afterwards. That is sometimes the way our minds work.

Maybe it’s simpler than that. It was clear between you there were no expectations. But hey, that doesn’t mean there’s any harm in getting to know a person or keeping in touch!

Don't take it personally Sanjana puttar it is very important for you to understand that the meaning of one-night stands is different for different people. You might see it as casual way of getting to know someone. But for others it is only about one-time sex and nothing else. It might sound vulgar and carnal but it is what it is.

Look at it from his perspective. People who like to play this game regularly like to stick to its rules. They strictly keep it a one-night stand and move on irrespective of their experience. These people are usually very clear about not getting involved emotionally and so they don’t even want to try. I am in no way trying to defend this person’s act. All I am saying is that you should not take it personally. This guy is probably doing the exact same thing to every girl he meets.

Same page Sanjana puttar I know it can be hard especially when you didn’t see it coming. I know you didn’t expect it to be so transactional. But look at the brighter side. Any girl would rather find out sooner than later.

This might take some time but believe me it’s just a bad day and you will get over it. Going forward you should be very careful about what you are getting into. Like I said earlier we are all different people. Sanjana you might be okay with the idea of casual sex but maybe not the literal one-night stands. So make sure that both you and the guy are on the same page.

You are a smart young girl Sanjana puttar. You my dear will do very well in life and go places. Make sure that you don’t take people on face value. Remember that you are a sensitive person so know what you are getting into. It is always good to figure out what works best for you rather than get hurt later.

Be honest – that’s one of the tips in our One-night stand: do’s and don’ts. It also has advice on vital matters like making sure you have safe sex. And also importantly, not having regrets.

No regrets So don’t be silly you pretty girl. Of course you are very attractive and worth a lot. Hold your head up high and respect yourself. No regrets! You had every right to do what you did - but also every right to feel upset now.

Puttarji, we live in a very harsh male dominated world. And it is especially hard for us women. So don’t give up on yourself so easily. I know life is not easy and beauty is to learn from mistakes and look at the positive side of things.

Auntyji is sponsored by DKT.

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