Love Matters India

My gf is not a virgin. Help!

Submitted by Auntyji on Thu, 08/24/2017 - 12:30
Hello Auntyji, I can’t get it out of my mind that my girlfriend is not a virgin. What should I do? Raghav, 24 years, Indore.

Auntyji says...‘Oh ho! Well, full marks for honesty Raghav -- at least you are courageously saying what you feel. Let’s speak more.’

For the first time

Sure beta, there is something to be said for first time experiences. Your first job, your first day at school, your first stage performance -- ityadi! But beta, come think of this -- it will be a first time for you and for her too and I am sure you both will treasure the moment forever. But if you want to mix it up with suspicion and mistrust, then all the mazaa is gone, beta. When we meet and get attracted to someone -- do we do a blood group check, a hemoglobin count, BP, diabetes -- no na ? Then why is this a concern? Such a big issue, in that tiny piece of tissue!

Not the first

Achcha sunn. I somehow feel that you may have a sense of regret that you were not the ‘first’ one she had sex with. But why such an expectation beta? Why do many men expect that their girlfriends and wives must be virgins from the Victorian Era? Aisa kya hai ji? So she has had sex before, you know that. All I want to ask is -- what’s the big deal? She is with you now, is she not? Is it even fair that all her worth gets washed away and all the reasons you love and feel attracted to her get annulled, once she declares her sexual history?

Factory packed

Beta, sach baat to yeh hai that generally people want a ‘seal pack’-- be it a phone or a girl. But asal baat to yeh hai ki a girl s not a phone, a battery or a jam jar, which you will be the first one to force open and only then will you feel, ‘Yes, this is a genuine item!’ May work for a water bottle, not for a woman! Achcha, tell me one thing. Suppose she had not told you and just said, ‘my hymen broke while playing,’ which is a very regular experience; what then? Would you have still wanted the ‘khoon ka saboot?’ And you -- do you have any evidence to prove that you too are a ‘seal packed,’ ‘direct from factory’ delivery? This whole thing about virginity is very confusing. I will tell you why. Would it be acceptable that a partner has had, say, oral sex but not vaginal penetration then is that ‘virgin’ enough? Or are you actually saying -- s/he ought to have had no sexual experience at all?

Love is in the air

Beta, bask in the love you have, enjoy the person and her goodness. Be the sweethearts you are meant to be. Don’t judge the person by his past behaviour. After all, when we meet people we don’t really choose them on the basis of their sexual history sheet, do we? Neither do we expect anyone to ask us. Otherwise, betaji, you too would be sporting tee shirt which says something like, ‘Raghav, 23045638 times masturbator in last 3 years!! Still at it!’

To protect the privacy of the author, the person in the picture is a model.

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