I saw my parents having sex!

This article is a part of our "Editors pick Best of 2015" series. It was first published on 23rd June, 2015.

Auntyji says… Hahahaha! Sorry betaji, but I can’t stop laughing. Not just at you, but at all you young people, who have this shock-of-my-life realisation! “My mom and dad? Sex? Oh God, no!” In fact, oh yes, yes and yes!

Sexual beings

The issue is we never see our parents as sexual beings. They can be caregivers, homemakers, yellers, disciplinewaalas, breakfastmakers… but never lovers! It’s almost as if the mind tells us that they only had sex once in their lives, “To have me and the next time to have my sister!”

Hell no, bro! These guys have been at it, for many years, and you guys are still just two… Got it? Mom and dad are lovers! Yikessss! Cat’s out of the bag, finally! After how many years, in your case? Oh, just 20? Hahaha! Took you some time to figure that out, haan?

They are sexy, savvy and cool. They are what you want to be – sexually active and vibrant. The fact that they are your parents doesn’t change anything, dude! So now grow up and look up… into your parents eyes.

Old lovebirds

You see, it’s very hard for young parents when they are actually in their sexual prime. Now that they are older, they are more relaxed, know about their bodies and what works. And then they have you – huge, grownup people lurking about, coming in the way of their glorious sex life.

How does that sound? Not so kind, right? Beta, just because they are older and mature and they play a role in our life – which is far from sexual – we forget that they are just some regular human beings too, with desires and rights!

So dear Salman, while she will always be a mother to you and he, abbaa huzoor, for themselves, they are very much lovebirds.

Read: Sex gets better as you grow older 

Love or hatred?

So now that you know, get over it. Your folks are really into each other… Hahaha, no pun there. I mean, they really like each other! Frankly, that’s great! Think of it this way, sex is an expression of intimacy, of pleasure and your own parents share that.

Would you rather like there being bitterness and hatred between them? Would you prefer if they were nasty to each other in the bedroom, would you not be able to see that too? Would that be more comforting? I sincerely hope not.

Young parents really fret about this and often, as kids grow up, they sacrifice their sex lives so that the kids don’t “see anything.” It’s not as if you guys are blank to the world of sex and its vast possibilities, so why should parents make that sacrifice?

Old hands at the game

Sometimes you youngsters confuse me. For yourself, you want the excitement, the chase, the desire, intimacy etc. But once someone crosses 30, you think sex is done? That it’s not for the “elderly”? Excuse me?!

So are you all ready to quit sex once you become a parent? Let’s say you become one at 28… By 30 your kid will be standing up and be able to see things… So is it pack-up time for sex? No na? Then why the judgment on parents?

The key here, my dear, is that just as you expect them to respect your privacy, they deserve the same. You saw something that was private, that’s it. Just think of it as being beyond your boundary.

If you see hurt, violence or abuse – be it verbal, physical, sexual – we expect you to stand up against it. Similarly if there is love, sweetness and intimacy, we expect that you will not freak out and be happy for them too. Hopefully when you get to sex, they too will feel the same… Or they may equally freak out! “Salmaaan, just a babybeeee, too young for sexxxx.”

To protect the author's privacy, the person in the photo is a model.

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