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Anal sex: do's and don'ts

Anal sex: some hate the thought of it, some adore it, and others are curious... Here are our do's and don'ts for anal sex beginners – and even the pros might benefit!


  • ...use lots of lube. But not just any!
    Unlike the vagina, the anus doesn't produce its own lubrication when a person gets aroused. So lots and lots of lube is advisable to prevent tears and pain around the anus.

    But don't just use any lube. Try to make sure it's silicone-based. Oil-based lube can destroy condoms, while water-based lubes could increase your risk of getting an STD during anal sex.

    And please stay away from numbing lube and creams. Some people are tempted to use such creams to avoid pain, not realizing that masking the pain can cause serious injuries.
  • ...relax!
    Instead of grabbing numbing lubes, it's far better to make sure the receptive partner is super-relaxed before the penis enters the anus. The more relaxed, the better, as tension can cause or increase pain. For women, it might help to stroke the clitoris, even to the point of orgasm, before and while trying to start having anal sex.

    And, of course, it's really important to be extra gentle and slow. A position where the receptive partner is in charge of the depths and speed of penetration, like being on top, might work well for couples that are new to anal sex.
  • ...use condoms
    Some people might be tempted to skip the condom, because anal sex itself doesn't cause pregnancy. But even then, there is a slight chance of sperm dripping from the anus and making its way into the vagina, so it's better to be safe.

    And there is a higher risk of getting an STD during anal sex compared to vaginal sex. That's because the skin is more likely to tear, and that means more entry points for viruses and bacteria.

    Of course, anal sex can also be a bit messy, and wearing a condom can make it feel a bit cleaner. But always remember to change to a new condom when you are switching between the anus and the vagina or mouth!


  • ...force it!
    It might take a while to get used to anal sex. You and your partner might be OK with the idea, but not quite ready to start just yet. That's fine, and you shouldn't force it.

    Start with involving some anal play in your sex routine. Or take a shower together and try to let a finger slip inside the anus. Men also enjoy this, as you with a finger inside the anus you can stroke the prostate, which is an orgasmic hotspot.

    So take it slow, both the actual act, as well as the time until you get there. Forcing it will just mean you are more apprehensive the next time!
  • ...upset your intestines

    Some people think that excessively washing or forcefully emptying your bowel, like with an enema,  is a must before you can have anal sex. That's not true and not necessary. If you feel the need, of course it’s OK to have a bowel movement before you get going.

    Also, stay away from harsh cleaners, or trying to insert soap into your anus. That can upset the health of the anus.

    That said, of course it's a good idea to clean your anal area before and after having anal sex.
  • … do it during pregnancy
    At least, only do it if you really know what you’re doing. Firstly, because it could be more painful than it usually is. Women are more prone to getting hemorrhoids when they are pregnant, which could make anal sex very painful.

    The second reason is directly related to another ‘don't’: don't switch between the anus and the vagina without disposing of condoms and preferably washing the penis. That way, you avoid having bacteria from the anus that can be harmful to the vagina cause trouble like infections and irritation. And when you are pregnant, you want to be extra careful about avoiding unnecessary infections!  

Anal sex: 'mmm, 'yeah' or 'ow, yuck'? Leave a comment below or on Facebook.

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Mujhe hastmaithun ki aadat he..or Us doran mera penis pe dabaav kuch jyada hi hota he.. or esa barso se chala aata he...magr abhi abhi mene kahi padha he ki isse viRy patan me deri ki problem hoti he..or esa mene mehsus kiya he.. meri gf ne mera penis ko sirf hila k koshis ki to mera patan huaa hi nahi jald se..magr penis ka tanaav normal hi rehta he...plzz help me...
John Marino CA Gay Twilight
Fri, 01/23/2015 - 12:11
I have had explosive Diarrhea on and off for 7 months. My boyfriend Cody broke up with me because I had explosive Diarrhea in the bed. Every time I try to have the anal sex I get explosive Diarrhea!
Hello mai ye janna chahti hu ki mere partner ne sath anal sex krne ki koshish ki thi mere sath par wo pura nhi ho paya tha or shuruwat me to mujhe acha luga par kuch second me he maine use mna kr diya tha ha thoda daala to tha par ek dam se nikal bhi liya tha usne thoda thoda hua par jyada nhi to kya mujhe pregnancy test krna chahiye ya nhi mere period bhi inhi dino aate hai usse phle mujhe pain hota h jo ki mujhe abhi ho bhi rha h or nhi bhi to kya mujhe sure hona chahiye ya nhi pregnancy test se ya mujhe koi jrurt nhi hai pls.
Hello, Hina bete. Anal sex se pregnancy ke chances na ke barabar hain. Lekin is dauraan condom ka istemal anivarya hai taaki kisi bhi sankarman se bacha ja sake. Yeh bhi padh lijiye: Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon!
Bete isse Anal sex ya guda methun mein yadi dono partners ki poori sehmati hai issey karney mein to kar saktay hai lekin wo part bohot dry hota hai jiskey liye koi chiknai Jaise KY jelly ka istemal kiya ja sakta hai ya chikanai yukt condom bhi use kar sakte hai, yadi condom ka istemal kiya jaye to koi side effect nahi hai. LEKIN, yeh jaan leejiye ki Har koi har kism ke sex ke liye taiyyar nahin ho jaate – isme unki marzee honi chhaiye. Yadi unhe yeh pasand nahin toh iska matlab hai, NAHIN. Samjh Gaye? Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho!
बेटे सबसे पहली बात कि आप अपना सवाल हिंदी, इंग्लिश या हिंग्लिश में ही पूछें! और जहा तक गुदा मैथुन की बात है तो इसमें यदि दोनों partners की पूरी सहमति है इसे करने मे तो कर सकते हैं लेकिन वो part बहुत dry होता है जिसके लिए कोई चिकनाई जैसे कि jelly का इस्तेमाल किया जा सकता है या चिकनाई युक्त condom भी use कर सकते हैं, यदि condom का इस्तेमाल किया जाए तो कोई side effect नहीं है। लेकिन ये जान लिजिए कि हर कोई हर किस्म के sex के लिए तैयार नहीं हो जाते- इसमें उनकी मर्ज़ी होनी चाहिए। यदि उन्हें ये पसंद नहीं तो इसका मतलब है, नहीं समझ गए। यदि इस मुद्दे पर आप और गहरी चर्चा में जुड़ना चाहते हैं, तो हमारे डिस्कशन बोर्ड, " जस्ट पूछो" में ज़रूर शामिल हों.
Hunter boy
Tue, 06/28/2022 - 20:32
Mai anal sex krna chahta hu but jab bhi try karta hu toh guda ke ander hi nhi jaata hai koi idea do...aur haan mai bahut se type ki lubricant use krr liya hu but phir bhi nhi jaata hai aap koi advice do...
Bete wo part bahut dry hota hai, jiske liye sahi lubricants, jaise KY jelly ya chikanai yukt condom use kar sakte hai, yadi condom ka istemal kiya jaye to koi side effect nahi hai. Ise padhiye: Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho!
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