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Happy couples talk about sex

Couples that aren't too shy to talk about sex feel better about their relationships and closer to each other, a recent study found. And yet married men and women don’t talk about sex all that often.

Communicating more about what turns them on, and what doesn’t, could be an important way for couples to improve their sex lives and their satisfaction with their marriage.

An analysis of 293 surveys that looked at how married American couples talk to each other about sex found that the language they use in bed falls into three main categories:

Men use more slang words on the cruder side, like tits and pussy, compared to their female partners. But otherwise, there isn’t all that much of a difference between how men and women talk about sex.

Earthy language

In any case, the more couples talk about sex, the better. And using earthy language instead of textbook terms is a good sign in a relationship. Both men and women are happier in their relationship and feel closer to their partner when they talk more about sex using everyday language, researchers found.

This is especially true for women. Whatever the words they used, as long as they’re not straight out of a medical book, talking about sex is linked to feeling close to their better half and to greater relationship satisfaction.

But for guys, not all sex-related words will do. It’s down-to-earth talk that’s most closely related to feeling good about a relationship for men.

Satisfying sex life

Talking about sex might be a sign of a happy marriage, but it seems married couples don’t actually use words very often to communicate what they want in bed.

Couples that are too shy to put their sexual desires into words more commonly stick non-verbal communication – they let their bodies do the talking.

But since talking is one of the keys to a good relationship, the study’s researchers feel that not talking about sex could get in the way of a satisfying sex life and marriage.

*To protect the identity, names have been changed and the person/s in the picture is/are models.

Do you get shy talking about about sex? Or do you love real dirty talk? Comment below or share with Love Matters (LM) on our Facebook page. If you have a specific question, please ask LM experts on our discussion forum.

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