how to masturbate a woman
Lisa A

Masturbating her: do's and don'ts

Masturbating your partner or fingering her is a great way to make love. Who says you need vaginal intercourse to make her climax? Manual stimulation can be a great way to bring your partner to ecstasy. Wondering how? Here are our do’s and don’ts.


  • Start slowSet the right mood. Start by kissing and caressing her. Pay attention to all other sensual areas of her body. Kiss her face, her neck, breasts, belly and hips and make sure she’s wet enough or well-lubricated.
  • Use your hands deftlyIf your partner is wet, then you know that you’ve stimulated her mind. Now it’s time to pay attention to her genitals. Gently run your finger around her labia a few times.Check if she is aroused. If she is, the lips of her vagina will be swelling and opening up, and she’ll feel moist and slippy. Then it’s time to go looking for the clitoris ¬– a small bump about the size of a pea which sits under a little hood, just above the vaginal opening. Stimulate it gently with your fingers using circular movements.You can increase the speed of stimulation, depending on how your partner is reacting. Repeated movements around the clitoris can make her cum. You can also try putting one or two fingers inside her vagina. If you reach deep enough you might find the g-spot on the front wall of the vagina. You can make your woman orgasm by stimulating the g-spot and the clitoris at the same time.If your partner has had an orgasm while you’re fingering her, you might give her extra pleasure by penetrating right after and making her cum again! She’s going to be grateful to you for the double treat! But follow her body language – she might not be ready for it.
  • Ask her what she likesAsk your partner if she enjoys what you’re doing to her. Talking about it will give you a better idea about her likes and dislikes. That way you aren’t left alone with figuring out what works!


  • Ignore her body languageWhile you’re busy with your hands down there, never forget to pay attention to her body language. Listen to the sounds she makes ¬– is she moaning with pleasure or uncomfortable with your actions? If she guides your hand in any particular direction, follow her. Look at her eyes and show her how much you’re enjoying the experience. These tiny gestures can go a long way in satisfying your lover.
  • Hesitate to use lubricationDifferent women take different times to get aroused. If you insert your finger when she isn’t ready, it’s going to be dry and likely to hurt her. Don’t hesitate to use lubrication in case she’s having trouble getting wet.
  • Make assumptions about what she will likeEvery woman is different. Some women like to have their clitoris rubbed vigorously to bring them to a climax. But for others, just touching the clitoris is too sensitive, and they prefer to be caressed above it or around it. Some women like a lot of deep finger penetration, but others are uncomfortable with it. Some women can have orgasm after orgasm, but other women are too sensitive to touch after they’ve climaxed.So don’t just go by past experience with other partners, what you’ve seen in porn films – or what you’ve read in a list of do’s and don’ts. Your partner’s body is your best teacher!

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