Couple using sex toys
Kopytin Georgy

Sex toys are not a sign of loneliness

"When I first learned about sex toys, I was shocked. Slowly, I realised that they are made to spice your romantic life." Riddhi shares her experience on using sex toys.

Riddhi Shankar (name changed) is a sales manager from Mumbai.

Addition, not a replacement

Masturbators, lubricants, anal toys, whips, handcuffs and vibrators are some sex toys I have known for some time now. For most people, the first thought when they hear about sex toys is that they are sleazy, pornographic, kinky and used only by desperate people or sex addicts etc.

This negatively warped one-sided imagery about sex toys stopped me and my partner from using them for a long time. After few months of contemplation, I collected advice from experts and friends who’d used them.

To start with, instead of seeing them as scary things exclusively used by perverts and porn stars, we started seeing them as an accessory to sex. This made us feel that toys are not a necessity but definitely a wonderful addition to spice up your romance.

Desperate and lonely?

After using them for the first time, my partner and I got the most common misconception out of the way – that sex toys are only for those who are desperate and lonely. Wrong! Sex toys can and are experimentally and functionally used by couples to heighten their experience.

According to our experience, our sexuality is a primal wired drive. Denying it is like denying the urge to eat or drink water. So why view toys as objects only used by those who are desperate. Toys are a way to honour and meet this physically ingrained need.

Enjoying your orgasms

I was perturbed to learn from a friend how sex toys also seem to symbolise a person’s lack of ability to perform well. Some people I spoke to created this idea that people use toys to replace real, incapable human touch.

This is absolutely untrue. When it comes to women, many perfectly functioning bodies cannot, or take longer time to orgasm. This is simply because vaginal intercourse doesn’t directly stimulate the clitoris.

To really evoke a soul-moving orgasm, many sex therapists actually recommend using toys like vibrators or pleasure rings. They also help to stimulate the vagina and other erogenous areas. Keep in mind, it’s not your lady’s unique body to be blamed. More than 75 per cent of women have craved the need for more than G-spot stimulation. So consider the addition of a spunky sex toy to truly explore the needs of our unique bodies.

Dishonest, unsafe and illegal?

Another misconception people shared with me was the belief that sex toys are made by dishonest men trying to exploit our sexual ignorance. When I came across Lovetreats website, I was guaranteed that the online store was user friendly and all the products were made keeping safety of users in mind.

This article was first featured on Better Than Chocolate, a pleasure magazine by Lovetreats. Lovetreats is an online store to buy sex toys and other sexual wellness products.

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