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How common are your sexual fantasies?

By Sarah Moses Wednesday, December 17, 2014 - 20:10
Do you have secret, kinky sexual fantasies? Does that make you a freak? New research reveals how many of us get turned on by thoughts of bondage, submission or public sex.

What do you secretly fantasise about? Maybe the idea of being tied up and spanked is a major turn-on. Or perhaps you get aroused by thoughts of your partner having sex with another man or woman.

Fifty-five feverish fantasies

Though many people think kinky fantasies like these are unusual, there’s no real evidence they are. That’s why a team of Canadian researchers decided to ask your average man and woman what they fantasise about. After all, they figured, if kinky sex and other fantasies turn out to be pretty common, people shouldn’t be made to feel that what arouses them is out of the ordinary.

The team rounded up 1516 men and women who were willing to share their secret sexual fantasies in an online survey. Each participant was given a list of 55 fantasies, which included everything from having sex in a public place, to being spanked or whipped for pleasure. They were also given a chance to describe their favourite fantasy.

With so many people filling in surveys, once all the results came in, the researchers had a pretty good idea which fantasies were common and which weren’t. And what they found was that few fantasies are really rare.

Sweet surrender

Dreaming of being dominated turns out to be super common for women, the results showed. About 65 percent of gals get turned on by the idea of submitting to a sexual partner. Many are also into other kinds of submission – things like being spanked or whipped, or being tied up or forced into having sex, are all common fantasies.

But there’s an important difference between fantasy and reality for many women. Around half say they don’t actually want their dreams of being dominated to come true in real life.

It’s not just women who dig domination – slightly more than half of the guys surveyed said they fantasise about submitting to their partner. Interestingly, men and women who into being submissive are also more likely to want to turn it around and dominate their partner too. The two fantasies are not as separate as people might think, say the researchers.

Imagining getting it on with a guy or gal of the same sex is not uncommon for heterosexual people, the study also found. More than one in three women get turned on at the thought of sex with another woman, and about one in four men have sexual fantasies about men.

Three in a bed or sex on the beach?

But what about differences between the two sexes? For men, fantasies about oral sex and having intercourse with two women at the same time, or with someone other than their partner are about as common as it gets. Anal sex is another big favourite for guys – two out of every three men fantasises about it, compared to just one in three women.

Women, on the other hand, have more fantasies in which the location or atmosphere plays a major role – think about sex with a handsome hunk on a deserted beach.

There were some fantasies, like those involving being peed on, that were pretty unusual. But overall the study found that it’s not uncommon to fantasise about all sorts of things, and even kinky turn-ons like watching others have sex or submission fantasies are not unusual.

So if you’re turned on by thoughts of handcuffs, whips or orgies, you’ve got plenty of company. But on the other hand… guess what’s the most common sexual fantasy for both women and men? Check it out below.

Top 5 sexual fantasies for women

  1. Romantic sex
  2. Fantasies where the atmosphere or location are important
  3. Sex in a romantic spot
  4. Sex in an unusual place (like at the office or in a public bathroom)
  5. Oral sex

 

Top 5 sexual fantasies for men

  1. Romantic sex
  2. Oral sex
  3. Sex with two women at the same time
  4. Sex with someone other than a partner
  5. Sex in an unusual place (like at the office or in a public bathroom)

Reference: What Exactly Is an Unusual Sexual Fantasy? (2014) Christian C. Joyal, Amélie Cossette and Vanessa Lapierre

Would you like your sexual fantasies to come true?

  • A) Mmmmm.... yes please!
  • B) No way! Hot in my head, gross in my bed!

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