Priya is a 25-year-old IT professional in Chennai
I love being married, I love my husband and I love making love to him. Sahil is good in bed but I know we could be so much better and pleasure each other more if we knew what the other person wanted. We have our set three to four positions and end up rotating between them. And foreplay doesn't even exist for us. I seriously doubt if Sahil even knows what foreplay is!
I'd fantasise about Sahil holding me up against a wall and having sex standing up. Sometimes I would want us to role play, like me being a naughty nurse giving him a full body check-up or him tying me up and kissing every part of my body. Or simply experimenting with different positions.
But just thinking about sharing my sexual fantasies with him, I'd start getting nervous, embarrassed and jittery.
A lot of my hesitation came from the fact that I was worried about what Sahil would think about me if I shared my deep sexual desires with him. I mean what if he thought I was being too "forward" or was a nymphomaniac? Or that I must have had several sexual escapades or I was watching a lot of porn. Or what if his 'manhood' felt challenged or he felt he wasn’t adequate in bed.
The last thing I wanted to do was to make him feel uncomfortable or hurt his feelings! Of course I was being paranoid but at the time my feelings were valid.
Inspired by Kama Sutra
Soon I realised that not sharing my sexual fantasies with Sahil was preventing us from becoming closer and enjoying a whole new sexual journey together. Initially I'd drop subtle and then not so subtle hints. Sometimes kissing his ear and letting my tongue slip in or caressing and stroking his penis just before he penetrated. I knew he would get excited but he never talked about it.
Then I bought a book on the Kama Sutra with pictures showing all kinds of positions. Looking extremely surprised when he found it lying 'casually' on our coffee table Sahil asked me, "Where did this book come from?" I panicked and said that a girlfriend had given it to me as naughty joke. To which all he said was “cool".
His carefree reply gave me the much-needed push to just ask him about what he liked to do in bed. As I was about to speak to him, Sahil gave me a mischievous smile and said, "Maybe we could try some of these positions a little later!" I looked at him shocked and just blurted out, "What took you so long"? He explained that he wasn't sure that I wanted to try something new in bed and didn't want me to feel compelled to do anything he wanted. Gosh! If only one of us had had the guts to speak up sooner!
But it’s never too late. I still felt shy about sharing my fantasies and expressing myself at first but soon with Sahil’s help I overcame that roadblock. He would ask me what I want and he would share what he liked and the best part is if one of us isn’t comfortable with a particular position or fantasy we just move on to something else. Now we are as intimate as never before and most importantly connected on every level, physically and emotionally.
Names have been changed. The photo doesn't show the people in the story.
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