trying new sex positions
Sean Nel

Trying new sex positions: do's and don'ts

Trying out new positions will surely add some zing to your sex life. But it’s not just about novel contortions and arousing new perspectives of your partner’s body. Let Love Matters keep out of uncomfortable positions with these insightful tips.


  • … Make sure you and your partner are on the same page
    It’s never a good idea to undertake sexual experiments without first making sure your partner is along for the ride. Though your partner is unlikely to turn down the offer to try out some new positions, it’s still a good idea to first let them know of your intentions, perhaps saying something like, “I’ve been reading about some different positions – do you want to try some?” This will open the arena for experimentation and is essential if you’re going to be trying particularly acrobatic positions, as you’ll need to work together, perhaps looking at diagrams beforehand, to pull them off.
  • … Start small
    After you’ve decided to spice up your sex life with new positions, it’s wise to begin with less complicated ones before you go testing out your flexibility and endurance. A quick Google search will introduce you to more than 100 positions you’ve probably never heard of, but not all of them will be right for you and your partner. Pick a few simple ones to experiment with and try them out. If you don’t like them, go back to more familiar positions and try out a few different ones next time. The point is not to wear yourself out trying too many in one session.
  • … Keep in mind bodily differences
    Though most sex positions can be done by most people, there are a few that require considerable flexibility, strength, or equal height. For example, making love while standing will be extremely difficult if one partner is considerably taller than the other, nor would it be possible for a woman to wrap her legs around a man while he is standing if she is too heavy or the man isn’t strong enough to hold. Bodily differences should be taken into account when choosing which positions to experiment with, as some can lead to injury or embarrassment.
  • … Read around for information on different positions
    Ever heard of the Superhero's Delight or the Merry Mandolin? How about the Reverse Frog Squat or the One-Legged Stork? There’s no shortage of books and magazine articles that offer tips and provide illustrations of different positions you can try out. In fact, a quick Google search should bring up enough results to keep you busy for years. Search around and find a few that seem right for you and your partner.
  • … Try those that benefit both partners
    Although most positions are great for both partners, there are some that privilege the man while others privilege the woman. Some place the woman in control, some place the man in control. Some allow one partner’s hand to be free for added manual stimulation of his or her partner, and vice versa. And some positions may simply be enjoyable for one partner and not the other.
    Communicate. As you’re experimenting, communicate to find out what your partner likes most and try to find a position that pleases both of you, or take turns in positions that focus on one or the other.


  • … Be afraid to experiment
    Don’t be afraid to try something new – after all, you and your partner’s favorite position may still be out there waiting, undiscovered. If a particular position looks appealing, and you and your partners’ bodies seem able to pull it off, then try it out! Discovering new sensations during sex is part of the fun. And don’t hesitate to move beyond any reading you’ve done and create your own novel positions!
  • … Jump too quickly between positions
    Experimenting with sex positions is exciting. The new levels of interaction and novel sensations can be intoxicating, but one shouldn’t get too carried away and try every newly learned position as soon as you can. Give yourself a little time to fully absorb the sensations and possibilities of each position before moving on and trying another. Above all, communicate with your partner! It’s not a race – it’s lovemaking. The idea is not to try out as many positions as possible in one go, but to create a sensational experience for everyone involved.
  • ... Feel obligated to like or repeat certain positions
    Not all positions are for everyone. Some may be too exhausting or uncomfortable for some, while others may be thrilling for one partner and not the other. Just because a position sounds like fun doesn’t mean you have to like it, nor do you have to try it if it makes you feel uncomfortable. Once again, it’s a process of experimentation and communication to find out what’s right for you and your partner.

What’s your favourite position? And which one do you want to try out next? Share your ideas with us by leaving a comment below or starting a discussion on Facebook

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