Anal sex: do's and don'ts

Do...

• ...use lots of lube. But not just any!
  Unlike the vagina, the anus doesn't produce its own lubrication when a person gets aroused. So lots and lots of lube is advisable to prevent tears and pain around the anus.
  
  But don't just use any lube. Try to make sure it's silicone-based. Oil-based lube can destroy condoms, while water-based lubes could increase your risk of getting an STD during anal sex.
  
  And please stay away from numbing lube and creams. Some people are tempted to use such creams to avoid pain, not realizing that masking the pain can cause serious injuries.
• ...relax!
  Instead of grabbing numbing lubes, it's far better to make sure the receptive partner is super-relaxed before the penis enters the anus. The more relaxed, the better, as tension can cause or increase pain. For women, it might help to stroke the clitoris, even to the point of orgasm, before and while trying to start having anal sex.
  
  And, of course, it's really important to be extra gentle and slow. A position where the receptive partner is in charge of the depths and speed of penetration, like being on top, might work well for couples that are new to anal sex.
• ...use condoms
  Some people might be tempted to skip the condom, because anal sex itself doesn't cause pregnancy. But even then, there is a slight chance of sperm dripping from the anus and making its way into the vagina, so it's better to be safe.
  
  And there is a higher risk of getting an STD during anal sex compared to vaginal sex. That's because the skin is more likely to tear, and that means more entry points for viruses and bacteria.
  
  Of course, anal sex can also be a bit messy, and wearing a condom can make it feel a bit cleaner. But always remember to change to a new condom when you are switching between the anus and the vagina or mouth!

Don't...

• ...force it!
  It might take a while to get used to anal sex. You and your partner might be OK with the idea, but not quite ready to start just yet. That's fine, and you shouldn't force it.
  
  Start with involving some anal play in your sex routine. Or take a shower together and try to let a finger slip inside the anus. Men also enjoy this, as you with a finger inside the anus you can stroke the prostate, which is an orgasmic hotspot.
  
  So take it slow, both the actual act, as well as the time until you get there. Forcing it will just mean you are more apprehensive the next time!
• ...upset your intestines
  
  Some people think that excessively washing or forcefully emptying your bowel, like with an enema,  is a must before you can have anal sex. That's not true and not necessary. If you feel the need, of course it’s OK to have a bowel movement before you get going.
  
  Also, stay away from harsh cleaners, or trying to insert soap into your anus. That can upset the health of the anus.
  
  That said, of course it's a good idea to clean your anal area before and after having anal sex.
• … do it during pregnancy
  At least, only do it if you really know what you’re doing. Firstly, because it could be more painful than it usually is. Women are more prone to getting hemorrhoids when they are pregnant, which could make anal sex very painful.
  
  The second reason is directly related to another ‘don't’: don't switch between the anus and the vagina without disposing of condoms and preferably washing the penis. That way, you avoid having bacteria from the anus that can be harmful to the vagina cause trouble like infections and irritation. And when you are pregnant, you want to be extra careful about avoiding unnecessary infections!  
   

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