Priya Sarang (name changed) is a 21-year-old student from Pune.
A new home
When I was in junior college, my parents abruptly got transferred to a far away town for some urgent work. I couldn’t move because of school, so I stayed with my cousins in the same city. I was sad to part ways with my parents for sometime, but I was also happy that I didn’t have to change my whole life suddenly.
My decision to stay back turned out to be a bad decision. On the first night, I noticed that my cousin was acting a bit strange. I could sense that there was something he wanted to tell me, but I avoided eye contact with him.
Falling for my cousin
Few days passed by and I began settling in my new home. My cousin was very helpful around that time. He would get me my supplies from nearby stores, ask me if I needed anything when he saw me studying late at night and took great care of my safety when I was on my own. All this made me feel emotionally attached to him and I began liking him.
At first, I thought that I was falling prey to all the attention he showered on me. But as time passed, my feelings for him grew stronger. I started speaking to him a lot, shared all my thoughts and considered him as my closest support. I would even like doing things for him, be more proactive when he was around and think about him whenever I was alone.
One day, when I was alone at home, I dropped a text message on his phone, asking him to come meet me. He bunked college and quickly got home. I made him sit next to me and confessed my feelings.
He didn’t seem shocked. He held my hand and leaned forward to kiss me. After that, he also confessed that he liked me but was too scared to say it openly. That’s when we had sex for the first time.We had sex a few more times after that. We got close to each other, emotionally and physically in just six months. It felt like a special relationship.
In front of my family, we acted like cousins and spoke very little. But our conversations were different over the phone. We also didn’t hold hands in public or meet outside without my other siblings. We had to be extremely careful and alert. Finally, we decided to ignore each other in the house due to the fear of getting caught.
The big break up
Almost after a year, I realised that I was merely physically attracted to my cousin and I couldn’t see our relationship grow into something steady and concrete. Finally, I decided to let go. I convinced him to break up with me. But I was terribly close to him and it became difficult for us to live in the same house.
He wouldn’t listen. I was in a huge dilemma for a long time before finally deciding to move out of the house. I finished my exams and moved back in to my parents’ place. I was heartbroken for sometime but it did teach me a lot about relationships. I haven’t had a single conversation with him in the last three years. I am ready to forget the past and move ahead with my future.