finding true love again
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Can I find true love again?

By Auntyji Thursday, August 13, 2020 - 17:01
Hi Aunty ji, I broke up with my boyfriend of five years, two months ago. I thought he was my true love but things didn't go well. But my friends tell me to date again? Can we find true love a second time? Abhya, 26, Haldwani.

Aunty ji says, ‘I am very sorry for your break-up beta ji. Hope you are feeling better now. I am glad you have friends you are trying to help. Sachhe dost

Moving on 

It’s nice to have friends who look out for you. You already have true love in your life beta ji! We are often so busy looking for the one true love, that we forget about all the other love that is around us! It is this true love that helps live our lives. So cherish their love. It will help you a lot at this time. 

Now whether you should see other people? I agree with your friends. And I also don’t agree with them. Now you will say, Auntyji tussi confuse kar ditta

I mean that if you feel ready - mentally and emotionally, please go out and date new people. But if you will think you need more time and prefer to be unattached and your own for now, that’s fine too. You need to do what makes you feel good. 

Now let’s come to your question. Can you find true love again in your life? I would say, why not? But beta ji, let’s first understand a bit what true love is. Thoda heavy word hai na!

Decoding true love 

So puttar, true love is like lemon (too khatta) on some days and cheeni (too meetha) on others. And we ought to be able to enjoy both - like in a shikanji (lemonade). And for that we need to work on a lot of things such as caring for each other, taking each other’s consent and understanding each other’s goals and desires. 

What do you want to do or be in life? Where does your partner want to be or do in life? Often you may realise after the initial phase of attraction that you two want very different things in life and may decide that you do want to continue for a long term. Jaisa ki tum dono ne kiya

Was it not true love then? Bilkul tha bete ji, as long as you give each other happiness for the time you are together. 

Just once - nah! 

True love does not happen in just one day. It involves constant and ongoing hard work. It may take years and years to build that mutual trust, respect, honesty in that relationship. 

But it is also not necessary that one has to carry on with ‘true love’ if it has stopped giving you happiness and mental peace. 

Often people stay on in relationships because it was their ‘one true love’. But like your Auntyji says, love is a constantly evolving feeling. You may feel like that for years and years. Or your true love may have a short shelf life. Both are ok. 

What is not ok is hurting yourself or your partner in the name of true love. True love doesn't mean it has to be taken like a dawai throughout your life. If you do not feel happy, satisfied, respected in your relationship, you move on, right? 

Train still on platform 

Coming back to your question Abhya- can it happen again. Well, yes, it can happen again Abhya beti. And if you ask me again and again! 

Well, you have just begun your second innings. Go out, get dressed, meet your friends, meet new people. Be open minded. Don’t rush into any conclusion. Like I said, do what makes you feel good!

You don’t have to desperately go looking for it or prove your true love to anyone. Many relationships will come your way and you may go through many to find true peace and happiness or who knows the next time your train reaches the station, it is named True Love Central! Zyaada ho gaya kya? Hehe, Cheer up and live your life Puttarji. 

To protect the identity, the person in the picture is a model and names have been changed. 

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