Talking about sex
© Love Matters

Talking about sex

However long or short we’ve been in a relationship, we often find it difficult to talk about sex – and the things we like and dislike in the bedroom. We love to make love, but don’t like talking about it!

Talking about sex can make lovemaking a lot better for both partners, and improve your relationship too. So it’s worth plucking up courage. Remember that your partner is probably just as nervous as you!

Never feel that you have to have sex with your partner. It’s a decision you discuss and make together. If you just enjoy holding hands, that’s fine. Don’t feel pressured – and don’t pressure your partner.

If you’ve decided to start making love, or just want to start talking about sex with your current partner, here is a basic guide to help you along the way.

Talking about what you want

Do you think you know what the other person likes? Be careful, there’s a good chance you’ve got it wrong. So talk about what you want and ask what the other person wants. You can do it before or after you have sex, but also during your lovemaking. You might find it hard to talk, but it prevents a lot of trouble and makes the sex a lot better.

Make a game of it

It can be a real turn on to tell each other what you like. You can play a game where you write down on pieces of paper what you’d like to do with your partner or what your fantasies are. You then take it in turns to pull out a piece of paper and then carry out the instructions.

Does it feel good?

Kissing, caressing, having sex… whatever you do, your first check is: does it feel good? Do you like it? Does it turn you on? Do you feel happy about it? Then carry on. As long as it feels good and you’re happy about it, it’s OK.

And if you don’t like what’s happening or the way your partner’s touching you? There’s only one solution – say so, however awkward you might find it. If you don’t say anything, nothing will change. So just try.

What does the other person want?

Do you know what your partner likes? Sometimes you can tell – you can feel it or see it. But sometimes you can’t. If you’re not sure, ask. Find out together how you can enjoy sex together.

Things that make sex good

  • If you’re in love with someone, there’s a good chance you’ll like them touching you. But just because you’re in love with someone doesn’t necessarily mean you want to have sex with them.
  • Pick the right place to make love. If you know you could be disturbed, you probably won’t enjoy your partner’s lovemaking as much.
  • Try different things out, so you discover what you both like.
  • Do you feel like making love? If you’re not feeling well, perhaps with a headache or a cold, you probably won’t feel like making love in the way you do when you feel healthy.
  • Make sure you have safe sex, so you don’t need to worry about catching a sexually transmitted disease or getting pregnant.

Talking in the bedroom

 
  • Try different things out, so you discover what you both like.
  • Do you feel like making love? If you’re not feeling well, perhaps with a headache or a cold, you probably won’t feel like making love in the way you do when you feel healthy.
  • No means no

    Some men still think there are women who mean yes when they say no. They’re wrong. No simply means no. And every woman or man has the right to say no at any time, whether you’ve still got your clothes on or you’re completely naked.

    If you do something that a woman doesn’t want, it’s never because ‘she was asking for it’. A good lover only does what both partners feel happy about and enjoy.

    A sex partner who doesn’t respect your wishes if you say ‘no’ isn’t worthy of you.

    Comments

    Actually yeh poori tareh se na, ladki kee mahavari pe depend hota hai, yadi who bilkul nirdharit hai ya nahin jiski vajeh se bahut hee risk ka kaam bhi hai. Yadi aap bina kisi protection key ya bina surakhsha ke sex ki soch rahe hai toh shayad aap un dino ki baat kar rahe hain jin mein bachcha rukna mushkil hai. Yeh ho toh sakta hai lekin yeh poori terh se surakshit nahin mana jaata hai. yadi aap sex pregnancy ke risk se bachna chatay hai to kisi aur tarikay kay mukabley Condom ka istemal hi easy aur safe tarika hai http://lovematters.in/hi/resource/safe-sex http://lovematters.in/hi/resource/fertility

    Hmmmm! pehle zara yeh sochiye ki apke mann mein jo chal raha hai woh sab jaankar yadi aapki chachi aapki complaint police mein kar day ya aapki pitai shuru kar de toh isse apka career apki life par kya prabhav padea? so zara bete apna chintan swasth kijiye aur yeh baat apne mann se bilkul nikal dijiye ki mahila kewal sex ki vastu hai. apne aas pass ki mahilao ko respect dena shuru kijiye jese aap apni ghar ki mahilao ko dete hain.

    Yadi shareer menin uttejna adhik hogi, sex ki bhavna zyada hogi toh sheeghr patan hone ki sambhavna bhi adhik hee hogee. aisee stithi mein, partner par focus badhana, foreplay , yaani ki pravesh karne se pehle bahut se alag alag kriyaein karna , jinse dono ko aanand mile, apne partner kee uttejna badhana, yeh sab activitys sabse zaroori hain. iske ilava, partner ke saath sex karne se pehle, ek baar hast maithun kar saktey hain, utne samay pehele jitne mein ling mein tanaav aa jaaye. Condom ka istemaal bhi jaldi discharge mein help karta hai.http://lovematters.in/hi/news/premature-ejaculation-top-five-facts

    Suniye Hastmaithun ek safe /surakshit tareeka hai apni santushti karne ka. Isse koi nuksaan ya beemari nahin hoti . yadi chahein toh bahut see activities hain, jaise ki khel – games, gym ya koi hobbies… ok? http://lovematters.in/hi/resource/men-masturbating

    Bete suniye yeh koi problem nahin hai…its very common. Sex ki bhavna yadi adhik ho to yeh hona bahut hee common hai. Aur rahi baat hastmethun ki toh yeh ek safe /surakshit tareek ahai apni santushti karne ka. Isse koi nuksaan ya beemari nahin hoti . yadi chahein toh bahut see activities hain, jaise ki khel – games, gym ya koi hobbies… ok? http://lovematters.in/hi/resource/men-masturbating
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