sex as proof of love
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My bf wants me to prove my love by having sex, help!

By Auntyji Wednesday, January 29, 2020 - 14:32
Hi Aunty ji, my bf says – prove your love to me by having sex. I am scared and don't want to lose him. He is good and loves me. Shall I have sex with him to show my love? Drishti, 20, Patna

Auntyji says, 'Oh ho – what kind of saboot is this beta'? 

How much is too much

Drishti beta, you like him so much that you are actually considering doing something you don’t want to do and you are not comfortable with, right? He asks you to shave off your head tomorrow – will you?  No usual clothes from tomorrow – only saree or mini skirts – will you? If you say yes to any of these and more, I’ll ask you again, beta. Why? 

Why will you or anyone do this for anyone? Especially if we are not happy about it, sure about it. If your parents say the same – will you? Will you quietly agree to whatever they say? ‘Get married to Abhishek Sharma, next year and move to Kanpur’ – will you? ‘Go and live with daadi in Betiah’, ‘No more sports or mobiles’ – will you agree?  

I can be sure that more than half your answers to these questions are a big no. Then why not to the boyfriend, beta? Think and tell me. 

Far from love

So you feel – not just you, but all you ladkis feel that if we say no or refuse, he will run away and find a new girl. And are you so easy to replace?  Did you not have such a good time bonding, laughing, playing, going out, sharing? And he will give it all up because you don’t want to have sex?

Is this dosti, pyaar? Why do boys never seem worried? If he asks you and you say no, won’t you move away and find a better person?  How come they don’t have that fear and you all girls do? 

Beta, this is no proof of love. This is blackmail. Plain and simple.  Do you want to give in? 

Equal Demands

Drishti beta, you want to have sex – Ok. I can’t stop you or anyone. Nor will I. But we can give you something to think about. 

See, I have a very simple rule to this. He wants to see your love by having sex. You say fine – you show me your love first. How? By never asking me, nor bringing it up, nor making me feel bad. Show me your love, do saboot

And once you see that love from him, we talk! Will it happen? Maybe, maybe not. But at least it will clear your head and help you take a decision about your own sexual life without any fear or pressure, hai na

More proofs

You go out with him, you are a couple, you do things for him, you take risks for him – kya yeh proof nahin? This is a never-ending cycle Drishti. 

Today it’s ‘have sex’, next will be ‘have that kind of sex’, then 'have it x number of times', then 'let's go to a hotel out of town, friend’s flat'...never ending. 

How many proofs will you give? What's the surety that you will get what you want from him. And what is that? Shaadi? Abhi se? To this fellow? Think beta, think – why the hurry?

*To protect the identity, names have been changed. 

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