Anonymous, 26, lives in Delhi.
First and the last
I was shy until I met him. I might have been a number for him but for me he was my first and the last. Last, I can say now, because after him I have not had the guts to date anyone.
I didn’t know his intentions when we first met. There was an engineering college near my house and I had seen him wandering around, sometimes alone and sometimes with friends. We both noticed and soon we introduced each other by what we call a bahana and of course the exchange of numbers happened.
He was a new admission in that college and I was a first year B.com student at Delhi University. Within a few days we were a ‘couple’.
Possessive and angry
As my house was close to his college, he would often drop by, usually when I was alone. Things got physical soon and even though I wasnt very sure, we had sex. He would tell me often, ‘How would I know you love me, if you won’t even have sex with me?’
As it often happens, soon the excitement wore off. We began having fights over mundane things. He and I would swear often. He would not allow me to go out with my friends – especially boys and would reacted angrily if I even talked about any of them. Soon he started nitpicking on who I met, who I went out with including my family members!
It was nearly 10 months into our relationship. I decided I had had enough and thought of breaking up. He didn’t take it well and said he would die if I left him. I got scared and thought of giving him another chance but nothing changed.
He would often blackmail me to have sex with him. He even video recorded some of our intimate moments. And even though the situation was becoming very suffocating for me, I was scared of breaking up with him. He had my intimate pictures and I wasn’t sure what he would do with them if I have mentioned the breakup again.
I couldn’t tell anyone. I had horrible thoughts running in my mind. Even the thought of suicide crossed my mind. Thankfully, before acting on any of it, I decided to talk to a friend about it. I am so glad I did the sane thing and it turned out to be a wise decision.
One day when he was fast asleep, she sneaked in and helped me delete the content my bf had recorded on his phone.
This was not the best way to deal with the situation but at the time I couldn’t think of anything else. Telling it to the police or parents would have meant my life would have come to a standstill. My parents would have been deeply hurt.
I am thankful that I managed the situation without them having to deal with the pain of me hurting myself.
I never saw him again.
To protect the identity, the person in the picture is a model.