does he love me
Shutterstock/Wirestock Creators/Person in the photo is a model, names changed.

Does he like me or love me?

Riya and Anoop are good friends in college. They talk to each other every day and tell each other all their secrets. Their friends tease them that they should get married to each other so Riya too assumes that Anoop loves her. However, she just learnt that Anoop told his friends that he just likes her. So what’s the difference between loving someone and just liking them as a friend? How can one figure it out? Let’s find out.

Finding out if someone loves you or just likes you as a friend can be a confusing and challenging task. Here are some key indicators and tips to help Riya (and you!) in this situation: 

  1. They would want to spend more time with you: If someone loves you, they will make an effort to spend time with you, do things that make you happy, and prioritize you over other things. If they have to go out with a group of friends, they would make sure to spend time with you before or after that and not completely ignore you that day! Or they find time to talk to you, no matter how busy they are! They will also consistently show you affection and appreciation - sending several messages a day, memes or songs that make them remember you, sending you flowers/gifts, and maybe doing things to uplift your mood if you are sick or have had a bad day. On the other hand, if someone only likes you as a friend, their actions will not be as consistent or intense. They may still be a good friend, but their behaviour towards you will not be indicative of romantic feelings. 


  1. They will take interest in your life and care for you: If someone loves you, they will make an effort to keep in touch and maintain open lines of communication. They will be keen on knowing about your life and showing a genuine interest in your well-being. Friends do that too but they won't be as consistent as someone who really loves you. A good night message every night, a - did you reach home safely text, or an urge to call you every single day shows that the person loves you! They may even use some emojis. If someone only likes you as a friend, their communication style may be more casual and less intense. They may still keep in touch and enjoy your company, but it will not be a priority in their life.


  1. Urge to touch: A handshake, hug, shoulder tap, holding hands, cuddling or any other physical touch is an important aspect of romantic relationships, and it can be a clear indication of someone's feelings. If someone loves you, they will likely initiate such physical touches. If you are in an online relationship, they would want to meet you and would try and make an effort for that. However, this can be missing otherwise. They will likely be more reserved in their physical interactions with you. They may still enjoy physical contact, but it will not be a crucial aspect of their relationship with you.


  1. Showing up and commitment: When you are in love with someone, you will be committed to making the relationship work and will put in the effort to maintain it. For eg: If you both haven't met despite your busy schedules, one of you will be aware of that and will still make an effort to meet, despite work. They will also prioritize your needs and desires and will be willing to make a few sacrifices for you like letting for of their favourite cricket match for some time to talk to you on the phone or not ordering a non-vegetarian dish when you go out because you may not like it.  If someone only likes you as a friend, they may still enjoy your company and be a good friend, but they will not have a strong emotional attachment to you. 


  1. Ask directly: While it can be tempting to try to read someone's mind, the best way to determine if someone loves or just likes you is to ask them directly. Open and honest communication is key to any healthy relationship, and it can provide you with the clarity you need to make informed decisions about your future. Here are some ways that you might start that conversation. 


‘I have feelings for you and I was wondering if you feel the same way about me?’

‘I feel like there's a connection between us and I was hoping you could tell me if you feel the same way about me.’

‘I know it's a big step, but I was hoping you could let me know if you have any romantic feelings for me.’

‘I have something important I'd like to talk to you about. Can we sit down and have a conversation about our feelings for each other.’

To protect the identity, the person in the picture is a model and names have been changed. 

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