Ways to Make Love
© Love Matters

Making love FAQs

Want to know more about making love or having sex? Here are answers to some frequently asked questions on the issue.

I always have safe sex but now I’ve got a sexually transmitted disease! How is it possible?

By safe sex people usually mean using a condom when you have intercourse and making sure you don’t get semen or menstrual blood in your mouth. You are then protected against HIV, the virus which causes AIDS, and you will also prevent infections such as Chlamydia and gonorrhoea.

However, viruses and bacteria that cause sexually transmitted diseases can also be passed on in other ways. For example by masturbating each other or by the genitals just touching without having intercourse. Even if you always use a condom, there’s still a small risk of catching a sexually transmitted disease.

Read more on the risks of different kinds of sexual activity in Safe or unsafe?

What is a 'dental dam' and where can I get them?

A dental dam, or vaginal dam, is just a square piece of latex which you can lay over the vagina when you perform oral sex on a woman. They are called dental dams because they were first designed to be used during dental treatment, rather than for sex!

You can order real dental dams on the internet. However, it's easier just to make one using a condom, by cutting it open lengthways to make a rectangle. An even cheaper option is to use plastic wrap (cling wrap or cling film). Make sure it’s the type that doesn’t have little holes in.

Particularly when a woman has her period, you can use a dental dam to stop blood from getting in your mouth. You can also use it for oral sex involving the anus.

I had unsafe sex, but I urinated and washed my penis right away. Am I safe?

No, urinating and washing your genitals doesn’t reduce the risk you’ve run by having unprotected sex. If your partner has a sexually transmitted disease, you might have caught it. You should go to a doctor or clinic and have a check-up. And next time, use a condom.

My boyfriend wants to use the ‘withdrawal method’ of contraception. Is this safe sex?

No, it isn’t safe. Although the semen doesn’t get in your vagina, the pre-ejaculate does. You risk catching or passing on a sexually transmitted disease, or getting pregnant.

  • Sexually transmitted diseases

The pre-ejaculate (the clear liquid that comes out of the penis before the boy comes) can carry HIV (the virus which causes AIDS) or another sexually transmitted disease such as Chlamydia, gonorrhoea, genital herpes, genital warts, syphilis or trichomoniasis. If you’re on the pill, it will stop you getting pregnant but it won’t protect you from getting sexually transmitted diseases.

  • Pregnancy

Withdrawal (also known as coitus interruptus) is not a very effective method of contraception. There may be sperm cells in the pre-ejaculate. More importantly, it’s easy for the man to get the timing wrong and pull out too late.

Does intercourse hurt the first time?

It doesn’t have to. If the woman is relaxed and aroused, it doesn’t hurt. If you’re very tense the vagina can stay dry or tense up. This makes it more likely that the hymen will tear and intercourse will be painful. You’re often nervous the first time, so it can easily happen. But if you both take your time, it doesn’t hurt.

What is a virgin?

A virgin is a woman or man who has never had intercourse. So the first time you do it, people say you ‘lose your virginity’. Make sure your partner knows it’s your first time, so you can take your time, and build up slowly and gently.

You can read more in the section on the hymen and virginity.

Why do I come so quickly?

Sex is very exciting, certainly the first time! Many men reach orgasm more quickly than they would like to. Don’t worry about it. When you’re more experienced and you’re more relaxed, you learn to hold back your orgasm. If you feel embarrassed, try to make light of it. Say something like, ‘Well, you really do turn me on!’ If you can laugh about it together, it won’t be such a problem.

Why don’t I have an orgasm?

Women don’t usually have orgasms during intercourse. The clitoris isn’t stimulated by the penis just going in and out of the vagina. If you want to have an orgasm, touch your clitoris yourself, or have your partner touch it. Of course, during intercourse isn’t the only time for you to have an orgasm. Your partner can also stimulate your clitoris so you have an orgasm before or after intercourse.

Can a girl get pregnant the first time?

Yes! The first time a woman has intercourse with a man she can get pregnant. Even if she’s never had a period. So always use a condom.

How do you make the first time a good experience?

See Ten tips for the first time. It’s also good if you know your own body. Have you ever masturbated? If you have, you’ll know how you like to be touched and what you find arousing. Tell your partner, and explore together what else turns you on.

 

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Comments
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Bete Mehul yadi GF ke saath kiya gaya unsafe sex hai toh pregnancy ke chances ho sakte hain. Isliye please safe sex ke liye condom ka itstemal hee karein. Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/hi/forum
Bete Sex se koi nuksaan nahi jab tak ki wo safe sex hai, yaani poori samjhdaari dono logo ki sehmati aur safety ke sath kiya gaya sex ho. https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/safe-sex Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/hi/forum
Bete Isme lagbhag 45 mins se1 hour lag sakta hai, ya zyada ya kum. Yeh bohot common hain, so don't worry! Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/hi/forum
Bete galat sahi ka faisla toh kewal hum hee kar sakte hain. Lekin haan Sex se koi nuksaan nahi jab tak ki wo safe sex hai, yaani poori samjhdaari dono logo ki sehmati aur safety ke sath kiya gaya sex ho. https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/safe-sex Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/hi/forum
Bete 18 saal se kam umar ki mahila ke saath kiya gaya sex chahein woh uski marzi se hee kyun na kiya gaya ho RAPE ki category mein aata hai. Aur aap bhee abhi balig nahi hain. Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/hi/forum
Bete Chandan please relax jo aap bata rahe hain woh bahut hee common hai aur is douran pregnancy ke liye ek shukranu bhee kaafi ho sakta hai. Jaldi pregnancy ke tips yaha pahdiye: https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/tips-get-pregnant Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/hi/forum
Bete Chandan, yeh keh pana ki kaun kab aur kiss din garb dharan kar leyga ya falana din mein koi garbh dharn kar leta hai zara mushkil hai kyunki yeh Har kisi ke liye alag hai. is baaray mein aur jyada detail mein yah padhiye saath hi jaldi pregnancy ke tips bhi yaha padh lijiye: https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/tips https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/pregnancy Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/hi/forum
Bete, kripya ek panjikrit doctor se sampark karein. Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Good morning, ravi beta! After 10 days aap ek home test kar saktey hain. Morning urine sample is much better for this. Ok? https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/safe-sex https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/fertility Phir kisi vishagya ya achche panjikrit doctor se milo aur dekho kya ho sakta hai. Iske illava aap FPAI clinic se bhee sampark kar sakety hai jiski jaankari aaapko iski website pe mil jayegi. https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/unplanned-pregnancy https://www.fpaindia.org/ Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Sex se koi nuksaan nahi jab tak ki wo safe sex hai, yaani poori samjhdaari dono logo ki sehmati aur safety ke sath kiya gaya sex ho. http://lovematters.in/hi/resource/safe-sex Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Rajveer bete, yeh koi beemari nahi hain. Don't worry. Yadi shareer mein uttejna adhik ho, sex ki bhavna zyada hogi toh sheegra hi patan hone ki sambhavna bhi adhik ho sakti hai. Aisi stithi mein, partner par focus badhana, foreplay, yaani bete ki pravesh karne se pehle bahut se alag alag kriyaen karna , jinse dono ko anand mile, apne partner ki uttejna badhana, yeh sab activities sabse zaroori hain. Iske ilava, partner ke saath sex karne se pehle, ek baar hast maithun kar saktey hain, utne samay pehle jitne mein ling mein tanaav aa jaaye. Condom ka istemaal bhi jaldi discharge kum karne mein madadgaar saabit ho sakta hai. https://lovematters.in/hi/news/premature-ejaculation-top-five-facts Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
ह्म्म्म! यह बात सही है की यदि जिस व्यक्ति के साथ आप unsafe sex सेक्स कर रहे हैं उसे HIV है तो HIV होने की संभावना हो सकती है अन्यथा नहीं. लेकिन HIV अन्य कारणों से भी हो सकता है.https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/hiv लेकिन बिना कंडोम के सेक्स करना बिलकुल भी safe idea नहीं है! इससे अनचाहे गर्भ के साथ कई यौन रोग होने का भी खतरा है. यह पढ़िए : https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/safe-sex यदि इस मुद्दे पर आप और गहरी चर्चा में जुड़ना चाहते हैं, तोह हमारे डिस्कशन बोर्ड, " जस्ट पूछो" में ज़रूर शामिल हों. https://lovematters.in/hi/forum
ह्म्म्म! यह बात सही है की यदि जिस व्यक्ति के साथ आप unsafe sex सेक्स कर रहे हैं उसे HIV है तो HIV होने की संभावना हो सकती है अन्यथा नहीं. लेकिन HIV अन्य कारणों से भी हो सकता है.https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/hiv लेकिन बिना कंडोम के सेक्स करना बिलकुल भी safe idea नहीं है! इससे अनचाहे गर्भ के साथ कई यौन रोग होने का भी खतरा है. यह पढ़िए : https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/safe-sex https://lovematters.in/en/resource/what-love यदि इस मुद्दे पर आप और गहरी चर्चा में जुड़ना चाहते हैं, तोह हमारे डिस्कशन बोर्ड, " जस्ट पूछो" में ज़रूर शामिल हों. https://lovematters.in/hi/forum
Sorry bete aapka sawal hamein samajh nahi aa raha hai. Please dubara koshish kijiye, taki ham sahi salah de sake. Yadi aap kisi bhee mudde par humse gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
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