Why this sharam?
Anurag puttar, Happy New Year tenu bhi! Well, waise to I do not believe in New Year resolution wagera! I make resolutions every day! But since you have asked me, let me share what I wish for this new year.
Lekin jaldi kya hai! Usse pehle, let me share a small story with you. One of our readers wrote to me sometime back. She was suffering from severe pain during her periods. But she was so scared and ashamed to go to a doctor!
She kept on thinking, ‘What would people say?’ I am not even married, why go to a gynaecologist?’ Her condition worsened and one day she ended up in a hospital! She is okay now after her long treatment. Why am I sharing this with you?
Puttar ji, you know what doctors told her? If she would have come earlier, she would not have to suffer so much. But because of her sharam, hesitancy and log kya kahenge attitude, she kept on suffering.
I get numerous such questions on Let’s Talk - our Discussion Board forum also where our readers keep asking me for medicines for various issues like erectile disfunction, pain in foreskin, fertility issues, masturbation, late periods or even abortion! When I tell them to go to a doctor (because some problems need to be checked by a doctor only), they hesitate.
Why do you hesitate? It’s your body. Doctors are there to help you. It’s their job to help you. So why be ashamed? A person who has a good sexual health is most likely to have good mental health too.
Be bold, be like me
So all I wish for this year is - that all of you should leave all the sharam and jhijhak that you have about your bodies, your body parts and sexual health problems. Be a bindass. Look at me! Have I ever hesitated a bit in answering your questions? Lot of you ask me questions on any topic and I always reply in detail. You may wonder, ‘Kya main pehle se hi aisi bold thi’?
Anurag puttar, I don’t even recall when I began to talk so much about sex. And when your Auntyji went from ‘besharm’ to ‘bindaas’ to ‘badass’! Yes puttar, all these and many more are words of love for your Auntyji. And I am very proud of them.
Your Aunty’s motto is,‘Hum to mohabbat karega, duniya se nahi darega’! And do you know one thing beta – I was able to do all this ‘sexy’ and taboo work because I had the support of my my Love Matters India ki team, who understood how important it was to talk about sex. Even though many of us might not be able to talk about sex in the open, but we discuss your problems among ourselves without any judgement or fear.
Beta, talking freely about sex or claiming good, equal and safe sex is no dirty thing. It’s wonderful and intimate and also an assertion of your identity. But beta, there are ethics of sex too! That we all must be aware of. The key is sehmati or consent.
Be vocal, ask questions
So all you boys and girls - especially girls - the time to talk behind covers and in whispers is gone. It’s the time to be vocal and say it forward. If you need to talk about something, talk. If you need advice, seek. If you need to ask about something, ask! That’s what I want from all of you in the new year!
You ask and I will definitely talk about it – as bluntly as you want, and as clearly as you prefer. Bas yeh hai that we have to be a bit careful of the mahaul where you ask– aakhir not everyone is as mature as you are. But at Love Matters, we will answer all your questions.
Beta ji – even today girls are shy talking about periods and boys ashamed of masturbating. Is this even half sensible, half fair? Let’s get together and bring these issues out in the open, to discuss, to understand and to resolve, once and for all.
This new year I want to welcome each of you to this page, and our Let’s Talk forum. I assure you it’s going to get even more exciting – more and more fun agar, tum saath do. And who knows we may meet face to face this year!
However, one thing I promise you-you keep up with your daily dose of Love Matters India and I will keep the facts with fun – intact! Done deal?
So to all my betajan – my puttar ji, my betaji – each of you – boy/girl, a bit of boy, a lot of girl and any genders or orientations – whoever you are – your Aunty ji is ready to get talking to all of you.
Sing with me, ‘Sex deeyan gallaan, karanage naal naal bey ke, hath vich hath paa kee’... one more time..., ‘sex deeya gallann....’