Love Matters Auntyji
Love Matters

Why is my boyfriend so jealous of my past?

By Auntyji Tuesday, January 31, 2017 - 02:08
My bf asks too many questions about my ex and sexual history. I have told him everything honestly but he still won’t stop. Now it’s bothering me. Rashi (24), Kullu

Auntyji saysOho… What can I say beta? Boyfriend bana FBI? Aye haye! What’s wrong with the man? Let’s see what to do.

In great detail

So betiya sunnn! Traditionally speaking, when our present partner asks us about our sexual and niji history, we are supposed to have some typical reactions. Your partner asks you, “Have you had sex before?” Whatever you say they’d rather like to hear, “No! You are my first!”

 

Now, the game is changing its dynamics. Young people, I assume don’t like to hide anything. “I was in a relationship before and yes, I had sex.” This should not mean you have to discuss it over and over and analyse the facts, figures, positions and outcomes.

On closer inspection

Beta, as gross as it sounds, people also use sex-with-ex-talk to get turned on. “Tell me what you did? What was your favourite part? Where did you like to do it? Did you like it with lights on or off?“ So many questions! Just because you are happy to supply the jaankari, right?

This sensational talk may help your sex life scale new heights. However, it’s clearly about you two. If you ask me, talking about someone else in the bedroom should be an inconsequential task.

I do agree that this same sexy and raunchy stuff if repeated every time and everywhere can become an irritating ‘Q&A session’. “Yeh bata, how many times with the last one? Where and why?”

Hainnn? Dude, it’s supposed to be our bedroom talk not boardroom deliberations, isn’t it?

Read more about communication with your partner!

Talking about someone else in the bedroom should be an inconsequential task

Past to present

So what’s with the tehkikaat bro? Is he finding it so difficult to deal with his girl’s history? It seems like your past situation has become his present obsession, hain? Not a new story, I must say.

Ex-lovers have a way of making their presence felt in your present life. What I don’t understand here is the continuous cross-questioning. Is it a trust issue between you two? Or is it an issue of self-esteem?

“She must have been with guys better than me. Am I really good enough for her?” These might be a few concerns lingering at the top of his mind. Beta, call him over, sit down with him and start a charcha. Tell him clearly that baar baar sawaal is no fun. In fact, it’s a total turn-off to then have sex baar baarI He needs to cut it out.

Overrated philosophy

Ask him what’s bothering him. Assuage him and calm the man down. Give him a good performance appraisal. Don’t forget the usual caveat that this is the last time other invisible folks are going to take centre stage in your bedroom.

Waise betaji, in my opinion, yeh ‘I tell my partner everything about my past’ philosophy thodi overrated hai. People may ask for the truth but very often, they can’t handle it.

Share, be open, but perhaps in a limited version. Do not share the entire four volumes of 50 shades of Technicolour.

To protect the privacy of the author, the person in the picture is a model.

Does your partner ask too many questions about your past? Do you share it openly? Share your thoughts in comments or on Facebook. If you have a personal question, please visit our discussion forum

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Comments
Hmm! Beta jitni zyada utejna hogi ejaculation bhi utna jaldi hoga. Aur yahi isthithi shyad kissing ke duran bhi aapke saath ho rahi hai hai. Iss bare mein yaha padhiye: https://lovematters.in/hi/news/i-come-when-we-kiss-what-should-i-do Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
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