I need sex! Am I wrong to cheat on my wife?

By Auntyji Tuesday, February 5, 2013 - 17:51
Q: I am 47 years old and I always feel sex starved. I want to have sex all day long but my wife is not able to satisfy me. For this reason, I have sexual relationships with two other women. Am I wrong? Ajay, Meerut

Auntyji says… Ajay betajee ek dum chilled Rooh Afza ke bare mein kya khyal hai? Because this situation needs to be dealt with a thanda dimag.

Don’t worry your aunty has not gone mad. I totally know you are much stressed but sometimes these out of season drinks can be very soothing.

First and foremost you deserve a pat on the back for mustering the courage to writing to me. There will be so many men out there who would choose not to talk about such a thing. That said, I am afraid that your problem has become very serious. From what I understand, it is very clear that your marriage is suffering immensely.

Puttarji, listen to me very carefully; have you ever wondered how your wife feels?


Are you able to satisfy her sexual desires or not? Always remember sex is a two way game. The only way one can maximize their own pleasure is by ensuring that their partner is content. Lesser known fact is that there are more aspects to sex than just physical. So unless the couple has a deeper connection, intimacy and attraction it is very difficult to have a perfect sex life.

Ajay beta you need to talk to your wife and tell her the way you feel. Make sure even she communicates to you. There is no doubt it will be very hard to come out clean. Like I always say, there is nothing in this world that is easy. She needs to be told that you are in trouble and you need her help.


If you want to know if you are wrong, it is simple: imagine how you would feel if matters were the other way round. Imagine your wife had two lovers. Or imagine your other women were also sleeping with other men, for that matter.

I think you will then accept it that sleeping with other women was a completely wrong move. You are not only deceiving your wife but probably also the other two women involved. And deceiving people in these matters is likely to lead to heartache one way or another.

But on the positive side you have realized your mistake and want to fix it. Hopefully your wife will understand and agree to helping you make amends.If the two of you are unable to address your urge to have sex all the time, then it something serious and you should think about seeking professional help, if that option is available to you.

Getting in sync

One of the biggest concerns that a counsellor might have is whether this urge is disrupting other things in your life. Believe me, just thinking about sex a lot of the time is not unusual, either for men or for women! There is a difference between wanting sex all the time and wanting it at regular intervals. So if the problem is the latter one then a marriage counsellor might be able to help you and your wife figure it out together. That one is obviously is the less tricky place to be in.

If I were you, I would go to the depth of the situation. No puns intended, of course. I would suggest that you start by understanding her arousal, and then figure out how to get yours and your votti’s desires in sync. It would be useful to keep track of the swings in her horniness levels as well.

When sex gets in the way

But betaji if it’s not so much of regularity issue, and you quite literally want to have sex “all day long” then it is something serious. I would totally advise you to seek professional help. This urge to have sex or masturbate many times a day can cost you a job and therefore your livelihood.

More than anything else it will be very unfair to expect your wife to fulfil these desires.There is a simple test to know where you stand. If arousal, sex and sexual thoughts affect the rest of your life, that’s definitely worth worrying about.

See, sex is normal, thinking about it is also normal. But it shouldn’t come in way of living the rest of our life. Kyunki sambhog ke alava bhi zindagi mein bahut gum hai.

What advice would you give? Leave your comment here or on Facebook!

Did you find this useful?

What might be the reason behind this? Does she not like what you are doing in bed? It's important that you talk to her about this with love and respect without criticism and judgement. Only then you can think of a solution. Also remember that it's her right to say YES or NO. If she doesn't consent, it means you are not supposed to force her. If you would like to join in on a further discussion on this topic, join our discussion board, "Just Ask”
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