Karwa Chauth
© Love Matters India

My partner refuses to keep Karwa Chauth. Doesn’t she love me!

By Auntyji Thursday, October 17, 2019 - 10:49
Hi Aunty ji, when I asked my girlfriend to fast for me on Karwa Chauth, she laughed it off and said she won’t fast. How do I believe she really loves me? Shamit, 24, Ghaziabad.

Auntyji says, ‘Beta looks like you are feeling a bit like Shah Rukh Khan of DDLJ. Hain ji. Let’s talk!’

A tradition gone filmy

I understand Shamit puttar where this idea of Karwa Chauth has stemmed into your mind. You must have seen your mother, mausis or aunts keep this fast for their husbands and for you it has become an expression of love. Hai na?

And then Kajol did it for SRK in DDLJ! Aishwarya for Salman in Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam and countless similar movies later... you youngsters decide…my girlfriend should also do it for me!

But puttar ji, let’s take a step back. Pehle toh, think for yourself – someone goes off water and food for a day in the year... and that ensures your long life? Does that appeal to your logic?  Not mine, at least! And then why do only women do it? Why not men? Biwiyo ki lambi umar nahi chahiye kisi ko?

Also, it is just one day in the year and we make such a hullbulloo about it – just like the other so called love-day in February, you got it, Valentine’s Day – but let’s deal with that in February! Films also demonstrate it as a mark of supreme love and sacrifice... but is it really?

What about her?

Now I have another question for you. What about your girlfriend? Does she think it is a good idea? Is it a mark of love for her? Because if it’s not. It’s a pointless exercise na. That too empty stomach! And hunger only breeds anger, not love, puttarji!

Maybe she doesn’t believe in these old traditional ways of 'expressing love' and wants to stick to other methods – being there for you when you need her, giving time to you, support you in your decisions, being committed in the relationship. 

Isn’t all this more important that staying hungry for one day? Think about it Shamit. 

No proof of love

And what proof are you giving Shamit – of your love for her? Will you also keep KC ?  May be for 2-3 days, after all you love her so much? Today you are asking for this proof – tomorrow you will get bored of it and ask for another and then another – is this cycle ever going to end?

Shamit beta, just like you don’t need to go to temple every day to prove your love for God, same way a partner does not need to stay hungry to prove his/her love. Samjhe? 

Your turn now

Acha chalo maan lete hai, that you like the festivities, why don’t you do it for her instead? There are two things that can happen if you fast for her. One is – she understands your side of the story, beliefs and feelings and appreciates your gesture for her. 

And the other thing that can happen is – you realise pehle pet pooja, fir kaam dooja! You may find it is difficult for you or anyone to stay hungry and thirsty for so long. Chances are you may break your fast! 

Now if you love her so much – would you expect her to stay hungry or force this on her? 

Let me give you an idea – why don’t you go take her out on a date to a favourite restaurant on the day of Karwa Chauth and celebrate the festival by eating the food of her choice? Being a fast day, most restaurants would be empty on that day too! 

Chalo, let me know what you finally did on the Karwa Chauth day – fast or feast! 

 

To protect the identity, names have been changed. 

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