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My ex-bf posted our intimate pics online. Help!

By Auntyji Monday, August 12, 2019 - 13:10
Hello Auntyji, I broke up with my boyfriend last month. He wanted me to resume our relationship. When I refused, he put some of our intimate pictures online. What should I do? Geeta, 21 years, Meerut.

Auntyji says, ‘Kya kaha puttar? Tch tch! How cheap can one get beta... now let’s see what we can do’. 

In poor taste

Beta Geeta, let’s talk about you first. What a letdown – hain na puttar? How upsetting to think that you have invested your time and energy into a person who was actually capable of such cheap tricks!

How sad we feel when we realise how low our ‘beloved’ can stoop. Why? Because you are not agreeing to his demands? 

When we are in love, we can never imagine this person will actually harm us, that s/he can be as maleficent as they are being now – they will find happiness in your sadness? Uff. What a big let down!

Is it some sort of unsaid rule of break ups – be obnoxious to the person who is rejecting you, the worse the better? Geeta beta, just have a heart dear. Beta, I hope you can see that your bf is nothing but a weak person, who is trying this poor shot to get you back even though it only means the end of the road and worse for him  – and for that you need to be strong, though I can completely understand how worried you must be. 

What works best

Now what could you do? Ignore him entirely! Block him out of your accounts – and whatever else you need to do to get him out of your face, your computer or phone. OUT! 

Let him revel alone in his cheap tricks – you can’t see them. And that’s how you take away the biggest sense of satisfaction it might give him, that is to hurt you. If you remove all of it from your universe, you take away the power he has to hurt you. This is what it was all about. Wasn’t it? As for others,  let me assure you beta, no one in this world endorses this kind of stupid, childish behaviour. 

Yes some fools may enjoy it for the moment – but later everyone turns against the person who has made private moments public. The joke is on him – not you! 

This can also be reported to the medium he is using. You can write to Instagram or Facebook and report this as a crime – they are known to take pretty strong action by taking the post down and banning the person who indulges in revenge porn

Yes, revenge porn is the term that is used to describe a situation where a partner, usually a disgruntled ex, distributes sexually explicit images or video of their partner (usually online) without their permission. These sexually explicit images or video may or may not be made by a partner of an intimate relationship with the knowledge and consent during their relationship, with no intention of sharing it online. 

It is online sexual harassment. You can even approach a cybercrime cell of the police action. The process will perhaps be very slow – but even if they make him one phone call – all the ‘mardangi’ he has shown will get good manhandling!

But yes, it will need some effort on your part. Think about it and if you feel up to it, and have someone to help you, even better! 

Tricks and tantrums

Pata hai beta, my puppy, Zulfie, he wants his will at many times. He sits in the middle of the road not bothered about traffic or people – he wants his way! What option is one left with but to give into his demands – what is that? It’s blackmail.  

What does one do with blackmail? You tell me? Either you give in or you stand your ground. I suggest you do the latter. Otherwise like me – you too will be dragging your feet into filthy potholes and water puddles, just like Zulfie makes me do. 

And once you do it, so will I – I promise you that! In fact I have already started! Bahut ho gaya Zulfie ka zulm!

Love comes with trust – he has broken both. You needn’t feel ashamed of what he has done – it’s on him. You trusted him – that’s such a big gift to give anyone, no? And he has lost not only your trust but also lost you – forever. 

I know I can’t do justice to what you are feeling, but beta jaan, don’t cling on to it. Think of this as a lesson in love – be careful of intimate photos and choose partners wisely in future. Now kick some blackmailing butt!

To protect the identity, names have been changed. 

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