Revenge Porn

‘I went numb looking at my videos online’

When their long-distance relationship did not work, Tarika decided to break-up with Anand. However, Anand could not handle the rejection. What he did next left Tarika broken. She shares her story with Love Matters India.

Tarika*, 20, is a student and lives in Pune. 

Complete trust

I met Anand* in school and we started dating each other. Gradually, we fell in love and got physically close. He often insisted on making videos while we had sex. He loved taking pictures of us naked in bed. 

I cannot really say I was always uncomfortable with him making these videos. I trusted him and did not mind. However, I always insisted that he deleted the videos after we watched it together. Anand always assured me that he would. 

Moving on 

We were  in a relationship for four years – both in school and then in college. When we finished college, I moved to Pune for my post graduation. Anand decided to join his father’s business. We had different plans for career and future. 

We tried to make our long-distance relationship work, but Anand always had issues. He was not happy with me not calling up on specific times. 

I was actually enjoying the change of the city and did not want to feel bound in a relationship with him. I shared my feelings with Anand and told him that we should break up. The long distance relationship was not working for us. 

Not a chance

When he heard the word break-up, Anand got really angry. He could not believe that I wanted to dump him. I tried to reason out with him explaining how I wanted space but he would just not listen. 

Anand started calling me at least 20 times a day – abusing me, shouting at me and sometimes also crying. I just could not handle the situation. I stopped responding to him completely. 

Chill down the spine

I kept myself busy with studies and tried not to think about Anand. One day, I got a text from my friend (a boy) saying that he has seen my sex videos on a pornographic website. I could not believe him. 

He sent me a link. I went numb looking at my personal videos on a pornographic website. I cried and did not know who to talk to or what to do. 

When I called Anand to confront, he called me a slut! He also told me that if I agree to be with him, he will take the videos down. 

He was blackmailing me. I felt powerless and helpless. At one point I became so depressed that I also thought of going back to him just to get the videos removed. 

Scot free to date

Next day, I finally gathered the courage to confide in my best friend Neha. She asked me to break all ties with Anand and harbour no thoughts of going back to him. She told me about other revenge porn cases. I had never even heard of the term!

She helped me speak to my parents. My parents were devastated. 

My mother and father went to the cyber cell of the police station with me to register a complaint against Anand. I will never forget the cringeworthy moment when I had to write all the details about how we both made videos while making love, in the presence of my parents. 

I felt so guilty. 

However, the police told us that the videos could no longer be found! Who knows, where they had gone! Anand has still not been charged of anything. When questioned by police, he flatly denied having done anything of the sort.  

My parents don't talk to me now. I don't know if they'll forgive me.

It’s been a year and I have cut all ties with Anand. I do sometimes think what if he decides to post the videos online again. But if he does, I am ready to fight back without feeling guilty or ashamed.

To protect the identity, the person in the picture is a model and names have been changed. 

Have you ever been in Tarika’s situation? Need help? Please ask Love Matters (LM) experts on our discussion forum. Don't forget to check out our Facebook  page. 

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Harika bedhi
Fri, 08/09/2019 - 09:19
She's really a slut after being in a relationship for 4 yrs. How could she jz say she got tired of him was she jz playing around with his feelings she deserved it it is not a tympass to be in a relationship she wanted space fuck it if you truly love someone you would not mind giving them your time its best that her parents cut off ties with her she's never gonna get tired of someone in a relationship again

Hi Harika

So you mean to say if a girl wants to break up with someone, she should always be punished by such acts of cowardice! She trusted a WRONG GUY. His act has proved how horrible his mindset is that he never loved that girl anyways. She was a fool to love him. Good riddance. What he did was horrible - he does not deserve to be with any girl actually! 

How could she dump someone with whom she was in a relationship for 4 years? Got tired of him? I don't say what Anand did is right. But I don't support the girl too. Because she just dumped him because she got tired of him. Wow.
Arunkumar Mishra
Sat, 08/10/2019 - 20:12
Ek naya najariya lete hai... Sabse pahale is kahani ke kirdaro ka naam aur gender badal dete hai. Imagine kijiye aap ne ye kahani kabhi suni nahi. Ab jo kahani main suna raha hu wo DHYAAN SE suno.. Dusre sawal ka jawab pahle dena chahunga.. Har relation ke bane rahane aur tootane me kabhi kabhi dono ka haath hota hai aur kabhi kabhi sirf ek kaa... Yaha par Jo case hai wo one sided hai. Dekho breakup ka decision *#* ne liya, use bore hone laga, use relation me ab bounding lagane lagi use ab aajaadi chahiye thi. Aur bus khud ki marji suna di, bina ye soche samjhe ki *%* ke saath kis had tak involvement tha, itne waqt tak involvement tha fir long distance me aaye fir ab breakup. *Ab agar personally ye mere ya tumhare sath hua hota to tum yahi kahate ki itna true love ki ya vedio bhi banane diya lekin ab door chale gaye to break up matlab dusra koi lafda hai.* Achha ab breakup ke baad *%* irritate hua kyunki usko relation se koi ajaadi nahi chaiye thi to wo gaali diya, roya, chillaya, us waqt us *%* ko shant karna chahiye aise bolna chahiye ki as a friend rahenge par nahi *#* ne baat karni band lar di puri tarah. To ab kya hua *%* ka gussa kahi nikal nahi raha, baat ho nahi rahi, agar koi din me aadha time kisi se baat karta ho aur achanak wo cheej band ho jaaye to taleef hogi he aur is case me to wo cheej thi relation upar se normal baat band nahi usme breakup kar liya. Iss case me ab do cheej hoti hai yaa to khud ko khatam karo ya to saamne wale ko ... so, agar *%* Kamjor hai to karega Suicide, aur agar samnewale ko khatam karna hoga to karega usko harm. To *%* ne wahi kiya revenge ke chakar me *#* ka porn usne daal diya. Ab uska gussa ho gaya shant. Aur ab # ko takleef shuru huyi jisase % aur khush hua. Ab ye story me batao # galat hai ya % ya fir dono. Ab sawal ki baat... Tumhara jo sawal hai wo galat hai, Ladki ka believe koi extra level ka tha he nahi, it was a trust jo har relation me hota hai. Jab paas the to tha jab door huye to fir sab toot gaya, uska interest, trust sab gaya. Ab yaha ladki hai to Dekhane ka najariya badal gaya ki Itna trust karti thi bechaari etc etc.. Aur Pahla sawal, Ladake ne jo porn upload kiya agar uska proof nahi hai to kaanoonam use koi punish nahi kar sakta. Punishment yahi hogi ki ab koi ladki uske saath relation me naa aye ab. Aur wo ladki life me aage badh kar khush rahe. Final Conclusion is.... *Sab chutiyapa hai Bandhu* Ladki ho gayi bore mil gayi nayi jagah, chahiye tha nayapan to kar liya breakup... Ladke ka chutiya kat gaya, jhandu nikala sah nahi paya to upload kar diya porn site pe.. *BHAISAHAB PYAAR KABHI THA HE NAHI, JARURAT THI, LADAKI KI JARURAT KHATM HO GAYI AUR LADKE KI JARURAT PURI NAHI HUYI TO HO GAYA KAAND.* *PYAAR HOTA TO BREAKUP NA HOTA AUR BREAKUP NA HOTA TO AAGE KA KAAND BHI NA HOTA, SAB BADHIYA HOTA.*... Saprem Namaskaar. अरूणकुमार कि ओर से... ?
Tue, 08/13/2019 - 08:36
Oh well I was also in relationship with a guy for four years.It continued in school and then in college. The guy I was with was not academically good. Because of this he lagged behind me two years. I still trusted him. I used to motivate him to study because my parents are very particular of academic. My guy's mother would talk to me, she would ask me to some how push her son towards studies. I was in college and he was still in school. Technically I knew much than him and I would get angry with for not being serious. My guy would trust his school friends more than him. Here I was breaking my back with studies so that I can in the last demand my father the groom of my choice, the guy I love and my guy was enjoying his life. I was running out of time. I was in 2nd year and my guy failed in 12th breaking my trust and everything. I really feel lucky that i always trusted his immaturity and did not agreed to sleep with him. Though normal kisses romance was there. There was a little pressure for sex from his side but I stuck to my decision. And I am really really happy with decision that I made. After breakup that idiot guy in anger said very mean things like he will tell my father about us and he will show my father my Instagram account and my photographs in midi and cleavage. He also said that I will call guys to my home sleep with them. Though I have moved on I still keep tabs on him. I still ask our mutual friends about his studies and well being. When his father expired I did go to visit him. I treated him like my everything. This vent won't get filled easily no matter if I get into another relationship. I won't be able to love anyone that much because I won't be able to trust so much. I had to break up because there was no point in stretching it because in the end my parents happiness matters to me and till the time he would have done with my masters and my parents would have started to look for a boy for me and with my parents rejecting my ex I would have to end everything.
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