fantasy about other women
Love Matters India

I fantasize about other women – is that ok?

By Auntyji Wednesday, May 13, 2020 - 16:15
I enjoy sex with my partner but I still think about sex with other women. Does it mean I’m not having a healthy sex life? Dibakar, Indore.

Auntyji says, ‘Dibakar puttar, you cannot control your fantasies but you can control your actions, haina? Chalo let’s talk about both!’ 

So far so healthy 

Good to know that you are in a 'satisfying' sexual relationship with your partner. That is step one for good sexual health. I am guessing that she feels the same too. If yes, that is the second sign of being in a healthy sexual relationship.

But the third and most important sign of a healthy sexual relationship is that it's mutually satisfying and pleasurable for the two of you. And fun in bed makes for a good life. 

Fantasies are normal

Now let’s come to your fantasies. Fantasies are good. Not just good, they are great. They help us keep things fresh. And as your Uncle ji says, it’s the healthiest way to spice up things. Anyone who says that he or she has never done that is clearly lying through his/her teeth. 

It's not a bad thing to fantasize about anyone. Fantasies also have various roles to play. Some people fantasize to feel aroused, feel motivated for sex and for some indulge in fantasies because it helps them to get orgasms during sex. 

We do not have control over the thoughts and fantasies that come into our minds. But what is important here is – do we act on them? 

Yes or no?

You might think of someone else once in a while. Maybe even more than just once in a while. Or let’s say you have other, different kinds of fantasies. But it seems like you don’t act on them. At least not so far.

Let’s say if you wanted to act on them. Here’s what you need to consider. 

First thing, who do you want to act them out with? If you want to try some of your fantasies with your own partner, you need to have her will and consent. For that you will have to talk to her and see whether she likes your ideas and wants to act on them. If she doesn’t then your fantasy ought to remain a fantasy. You should not force your partner for anything. If she hesitates or says no, then it means no. 

Now, if you want to try out your fantasies with other women, who are not in a relationship with you and do not consent to it, it will be just harassment. And let’s say, you find other women who wish to give it a go, what about your committed relationship in that case?

Would your partner be ok with you wanting to try out fantasies with others? So there’s much to consider and not a lot of it has easy or straight answers.

So if you ask me, the situation is this – fantasies usually work well as fantasies. 

To protect the identity, the person in the picture is a model and names have been changed. This article was first published on March 20, 2012. 

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Abhisekh singh
Wed, 06/28/2017 - 11:51
mai 24saal ka hu aur meri wife 21 saal ki hai mai jab bhi uske sath sambhand banana chata hu us me chidchida pan a jata hai aur mujhe aisa lagta hai vo sex ke liye kabhi tayarnahi hoti hai jabki hapte me do baar hi sex hota hai fir bhi use achaa nahi lagta hai jiske karan raat me ham dono ka aksar jagadaa ho jata hai please help me
Hmm! Aisa kyun ho raha hai, Abhisekh beta? Kya aap koi aisi activity kar rahe hain jo ki unhe pasand nahi aa rahi hai? Sabse zaroori hoga ki aap unse pyar aur vishawas ke saath iski vajeh poochein, bina jhagda, bina aalochna. Tab hee aap anumaan laga saktey hain, hain na? Yeh bhi yaad rakhiye, ki sex mein HAAN karna ya NAA, yeh bhi unka haq hai, unka nirnay… so yadi who Na kartee hain, so ek baat to tay hi ki koi bhi zor ya zabardasti bilkul allow nahin ha, samjhe beta jee?! Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon!
Sorry, dear. There's no possible way as of now to increase the size of penis.For accurate information about this, please read: Tightening the vagina is not easy to accomplish. Yet do read this to help you understand better : If you would like to join in on a further discussion on this topic, join our discussion board, "Just Ask”
Said gouri
Sat, 02/23/2019 - 03:48
Agar pati patni an dusre she santrust nahi hai aur rista nibhane ke liye apne alag sathi se aapshi rajamandi she sambandh banate hai to kya sahi hai?
Shayed!! yadi ek ""open marriage"" ban gayee hai aur dono ek doosre ki expectations samajh rahe hain - to thek hai - bas baad mein koi ladai jhagda nahin hona chhaiye, koi dosh aarope nahin hona chahiye. Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho!
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