Aunty Ji
Love Matters India

Daily harassment on the bus: What should I do?

By Auntyji Thursday, March 1, 2018 - 10:42
Hi Aunty ji, I go to college in a bus and every now and then I get pinched, touched inappropriately or ogled at. I am fed up but don't know what to do. Please help! Neha, 19, Delhi.

Auntyji says, ‘Oh ho – you have really touched my raw nerve beta, I can completely understand your frustration’.

Jailed in?

Sabse pehle, please remember one thing. None of this is your fault. It also has nothing to do with how you look, how you dress and who you are. Samjhee beta? It’s totally some very foolish person/s trying to prove something to his own self. Bewakoof! And the tragedy is – there are many of them aas paas us.  

What do these ‘gentlemen’ want – that girls don’t step out of their homes? That they stay confined to a jail? Because these fools can’t keep their body parts to themselves? Hadh ho gayee!

Now is the time

So beta Neha, sunn meri gall. Puttar, the time has come to break the silence on this. Why do you hold back? Not just you beta, but all those girls who have to bear this on a daily basis – Bear No More, beta.  

Over the years, women and girls have been tutored and taught to keep quiet, be resilient to let it pass. They are told so many times, ‘don’t create a scene.’ And that is one of the reasons why this still continues to happen, because the fool thinks, ‘she doesn’t have the guts to say anything’.

Make a noise for desi boys

Beta, I say, create a scene – make a tamasha of the man who is doing this to you or even to any other person in the bus or metro. Why should we suffer in silence? There is no glory in this. Absolutely no greatness in this at all. In fact quite the opposite.

With years and years of the feminist struggle, we have reached a place where if you take even a small step if nothing else – you would have at least publicly shamed that person. Sharm usko aani chahiye beta, not you.

My body is only mine

This is your body – your address – you live in it! Do we allow any odd person to come barging into our home? We stop them in their tracks – kahan ghussta aa raha hai bey? Same thing here. Stop them there and then. No one has a right to touch or look at your body – unless you too want it. Hai na? So if you don’t like it, you don’t want it – just go ahead and say so. Zore Se!

Stare no more!

Neha Putt’, taking care of our own safety – cannot be a ‘woman’s problem’ only. It has to be a shared responsibility. Keep girls safe. Not by locking them up at home, restricting their mobility or by packing them off home so that the company is not liable, ityadi. But we should rather ensure a girl’s safety by ensuring they are not picked on, commented upon, pinched, hurt or ogled at.

How? By making our public spaces safe and secure – jisme men have to learn to keep their eyes, zubaan, hands and other organs in check. Yes?

So beta, don’t back down, don’t give in. Make a noise, create a scene. I tell you beta, you will be doing some good to yourself and some other girls, somewhere. So claim it and blame it, where it actually belongs!  Go, get on that bus and take a trip Neha Puttar. Nirbhau!

Names changed.

Persons in the picture are models

How will you help someone next time you see her being harassed in public? Share with Love Matters (LM) on our Facebook page. If you have a specific question, please ask LM experts on our discussion forum.

Comments
ello ma'am , meri age 21 hai nd before 2 days maine first tym sex kiya wo b bina protection, during sex mere penis ke uppar skin jo uske lips se attached hoti hai wo thodi se chill gyi, jisse uss time usme blood bhi aaya, ma'am please tell me aise ku hua and kya isse koi problem ho sakti hai....
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