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I was in his arms, but thinking of her

By Sraboni Basu Monday, August 31, 2020 - 17:43
Nisha lay awake in Vikram’s arms, thinking of Priya. She kissed a girl and loved it. Should she tell her husband about it?

Nisha, 28, is a creative head with a media house in Delhi. 

Urge to kiss 

‘It's 9 pm already and I have tons more to finish before tomorrow’s presentation!’ I panicked. Vikram, my husband of two years, was flying in after a whole week and didn’t have the house keys. To make things worse, I’d skipped lunch and now had a splitting headache. 

Priya, our new assistant designer, walked in with some sketches and sensed that I was stressed. ‘Let me massage some balm on your forehead, you’ll feel better’ she said. I sure felt better but I felt something else too, that I could not explain. I loved the way Priya massaged me. For a moment I had an insane urge to hold her tight and kiss her! ‘This stress is making me lose my mind!’ I thought, shocked at my own feelings. 

Pulled her close 

Over the next few weeks, tight deadlines ensured late nights at work. Priya would stay back too as she was assisting me on the projects. I almost started looking forward to working late. We would order in some light dinner and eat together at my workstation. Priya had lovely thick straight hair and usually tied a ponytail. That evening, tired, she stretched back in her chair and let her hair loose. 

I couldn't stop myself from running my fingers through her hair. ‘Your hair is beautiful Priya and so are you!’ I heard myself mumble. Before we knew it, we were so close, our faces almost touched and I gave her a little peck on her cheek! 

The next moment, before I could stop myself, I pulled her close and kissed her! It felt like heaven! I also felt I wasn’t me. My head was buzzing and I had no control over myself but surprisingly, in spite of it all I felt a strange new sensation of being in control and I loved it. 

Priya seemed more at ease, as if she was expecting something like this to happen and didn’t seem to mind it at all. Instead she played into my arms, almost like she wanted to. We groped each other’s breasts and kissed passionately. Before things went out of control, we quickly jolted apart and got back to work, at least tried to. 

But I’m married..

Once done, just as she was leaving, I stopped her. ‘Priya, I am really sorry… ‘ I fumbled. ‘You don’t have to be, really’ she reassured me, holding my hands. And then she kissed me. It was that exhilarating feeling again! 

‘Nisha, I’m new here and I do not have any friends and I really like you,’ she said. ‘That’s fine but we really shouldn’t… and you know I’m married right?’ I tried to reason. ‘Of course I know and that doesn’t matter, no one will ever know, they don’t have to. People won't understand and we should not expect them to,’ she continued. Her poise and composure surprised me. 

Guilty?... No!

That night, lying in bed, all I knew was that I didn’t want whatever had started, to end. I looked at Vikram and I also knew I loved him just as much, nothing had changed between us. But I decided not to share this with him. 

At work, Priya and I became a winning team and more importantly, the best of friends, the soul mates kind! We had our moments but were very clear that there were to be no expectations from each other. We had our separate lives to live and respected that.

It's been six months. I love Vikram and I love Priya and I do not feel guilty towards either. I know it’s a dangerous path I’m treading and I do not know what the future holds for me. For now, I just want to be true to my deepest, most intimate feelings. 

To protect the identity, the person in the picture is a model and names have been changed. 

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