Some people know that they’re gay, straight or bisexual from a very young age, but for others it’s a bit more complicated. If you dream or fantasize about someone of the same sex, does that mean you’re gay? If you’re a girl who kissed another girl, are you a lesbian? There are no clear answers. One daydream or experience doesn’t mean you’re gay, but if your fantasies are mainly about people of the same sex then you could be. Only you know how you feel, and only you can figure out your sexuality.
Generally speaking, your sexual orientation is based on your feelings, and who you fall in love with. Of course sexual attraction plays an important part in this, but it’s not everything. Who makes your heart beat faster? Who do you want to spend all your time with?
If you usually imagine falling in love and having sex with someone of the same sex, then you’re probably lesbian, gay or bisexual.
Remember, there’s no rush to identify or label yourself right away! It can take a lot of time to figure out your own emotions and desires, and sometimes people’s feelings change over time.
Sexuality is based on what you feel, not what you do. No one can tell you what your sexual orientation is.
Accepting your sexuality
You may struggle with questions about your sexual orientation, particularly if you live in a society where same-sex relationships are not widely accepted.
Many people want to be straight because they think that their life would be easier that way, or because they’re afraid people won’t like them. If you’ve been brought up to believe that there’s something wrong with being gay, it can be very hard to accept your own feelings.
It’s perfectly normal to feel scared, angry or confused. But remember, there’s nothing wrong with being gay, lesbian or bisexual. Everyone deserves a loving and happy relationship.
Being honest with yourself can make your life easier.
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