Auntyji says... I understand your plight, Preeti beta. Long-distance relationships are indeed hard. Woh kya kehte hain... bas ji, sab ke bas ki baat nahi hai.
What helps is trying to understand why you are together in the first place – to understand where you started. Do you have a long-term plan? Do you plan to be with your partner after this difference is bridged?
Real reason
You need quite a lot of determination to make a relationship work when the person is not around you anymore. But I want to ask you to think, what is the reason for you feeling this way? Is it actually because you are not able to give each other the time? Have your expectations increased? Or is it just frustration at the fact that you can’t see each other anymore?
Long-distance is hard and is not everyone’s glass of Rooh Afza if you know what I mean. But if you have your long-term plan in mind, and are determined to make it work, then you just need to have more patience.
Talk it out
There is nothing between two people that cannot be solved with a simple conversation. Achcha, maybe that’s a bit far-fetched, but there are definitely a lot of problems in intimate relationships that can be resolved with a conversation. Take out some time, write your partner a long email, and talk about your problems.
Invest or call it quits
This is a lot like a conversation, only with yourself. You have to ask yourself if this is worth it, beta. Do you want to invest so much of your effort into a relationship that you feel is not fulfilling enough for you? Either you will find that you do, and you will be more determined than ever to make it work, or you will find that it’s just not worth it and you may have to take the hard decision to call it quits.
Many people tend to ignore their relationship troubles till they grow ugly, and then are not able to handle it. My advice to you, puttarji, is to take it head on and really talk to yourself about where this is headed and where you stand in this.
Re-evaluate your expectations
Maybe your priorities don’t match. Or maybe you aren’t even aware of the expectations your partner has of you. This can only be resolved if you speak to each other. That’s how you connected in the first place. Right, Preeti? Tell him what you think. Don’t be aggressive, but be assertive about your feelings. As you’re saying, you also need a lot from him.
The last piece of advice I want to give you, Preeti puttar, is that you should also sit with your partner (maybe even virtually) and chalk out what are the realistic expectations you can have of a long-distance relationship.
Many people have problems when moving from regular relationships to long-distance ones because they expect the same things from their partner as they would in regular relationships. This, beta is the recipe for disaster.
In the end, I say thandi saans lo, put lots of ice in your Rooh Afza, and think of what this means to you!
To protect the identity, the person in the picture is a model and names have been changed.
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