Should I end my long-distance love?
Love Matters India

Should I end my long-distance love?

By Auntyji Tuesday, April 24, 2012 - 15:36
My boyfriend moved to another city for a job three months ago – should I stay in a long-distance relationship? We’ve been dating for almost a year. But now it feels like he’s putting his job, friends and family before me. Preeti, Surat

Auntyji says... I understand your plight, Preeti beta. Long-distance relationships are indeed hard. Woh kya kehte hain... bas ji, sab ke bas ki baat nahi hai.

What helps is trying to understand why you are together in the first place – to understand where you started. Do you have a long-term plan? Do you plan to be with your partner after this difference is bridged?

Real reason


You need quite a lot of determination to make a relationship work when the person is not around you anymore. But I want to ask you to think, what is the reason for you feeling this way? Is it actually because you are not able to give each other the time? Have your expectations increased? Or is it just frustration at the fact that you can’t see each other anymore?

Long-distance is hard and is not everyone’s glass of Rooh Afza if you know what I mean. But if you have your long-term plan in mind, and are determined to make it work, then you just need to have more patience.
 

Talk it out

There is nothing between two people that cannot be solved with a simple conversation. Achcha, maybe that’s a bit far-fetched, but there are definitely a lot of problems in intimate relationships that can be resolved with a conversation. Take out some time, write your partner a long email, and talk about your problems.
 

Invest or call it quits

This is a lot like a conversation, only with yourself. You have to ask yourself if this is worth it, beta. Do you want to invest so much of your effort into a relationship that you feel is not fulfilling enough for you? Either you will find that you do, and you will be more determined than ever to make it work, or you will find that it’s just not worth it and you may have to take the hard decision to call it quits.

Many people tend to ignore their relationship troubles till they grow ugly, and then are not able to handle it. My advice to you, puttarji, is to take it head on and really talk to yourself about where this is headed and where you stand in this.

Re-evaluate your expectations

Maybe your priorities don’t match. Or maybe you aren’t even aware of the expectations your partner has of you. This can only be resolved if you speak to each other. That’s how you connected in the first place. Right, Preeti? Tell him what you think. Don’t be aggressive, but be assertive about your feelings. As you’re saying, you also need a lot from him.

The last piece of advice I want to give you, Preeti puttar, is that you should also sit with your partner (maybe even virtually) and chalk out what are the realistic expectations you can have of a long-distance relationship.

Many people have problems when moving from regular relationships to long-distance ones because they expect the same things from their partner as they would in regular relationships. This, beta is the recipe for disaster.

In the end, I say thandi saans lo, put lots of ice in your Rooh Afza, and think of what this means to you!

To protect the identity, the person in the picture is a model and names have been changed. 

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Comments
Anonymous
Fri, 07/20/2012 - 13:17
hi aunty ji.. Me a married men.. My age is 27 & meri shadi ko 2 saal ho gye hain.. Meri prob ye hai k m during intercource apni wife k sath jaldi discharge ho jata hun.. Sahi tareeqey se maza nhi le pata.. Intr hote he 1 mint m discharge??? Is pro ka koi hal btayen me shaheen from pakistan.. Rply soon aunty
Unti ji meri Saadi ko 1 mahina hua he or Maine meri wife Ke sath samband banaye to Maine use capsule kha khakar ab pichle 1 hafte se mera ling khada Nhi ho paa raha he kya mughe koi bimari he please iska ilaaj bataao jaldi se arjent
Kaun see capsule? Kya aap logon ko pata bhi hai in goliyon mein kay hota hai… nahin!! phir bhi itna risk. Ab darne ki koi baat nahin , just relax karo aur naye cheezein try karo , jitnee uttejna badh jaati hai utna hee ling mein tanav aa sakta hai
Raj love srivastava
Tue, 07/15/2014 - 01:53
Aunty ji mere virya bahut jaldi nikal jata h meri biwi mujhse khus nhi rahegi kya meri umar 21 Saal h. Aur mai hast maithoon b karta hu kya ise karne se ye hua h?
Beta uttejna hone par ling se paani nikalna toh bahut hee common baat hai. Sex ki bhavna yadi adhik ho to yeh hona bahut hee common hai. Haan yeh toh zaroor hai ki yadi app HAR mahila ya ladki se koi bhi baat karte waqt uttejit ho jate hain so shayad aapka nazariya mahilaon ke prati bahut ek tarfaa hai… isme toh sudhar lana hee chahiye. Har mahila sex ki vastu bilkul nahi! Jaise aap anya chizon par control karte hain,waise hi is par bhi kijiye. Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna   chahte hain to hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Beta apne se umar mein badi mahila ke saath sambadh ke bare mein bahut se log sochte hain. Lekin aapki is soch ke karan kahin aap kisi badi musibat mein na padd jaye isliye zara aap swayum chintan kar leejiye, aur soch leejiye. Jara yeh writeup bhi padh lo : https://lovematters.in/hi/making-love/turned-on-by-older-women-is-that-normal https://lovematters.in/hi/making-love/should-i-sleep-with-my-neighbourhood-bhaabhi Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna   chahte hain to hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
aman from himachal
Wed, 08/06/2014 - 21:44
Aanty g.... Nmskar anty g mera ling ki skin jb me piche krta huun to..... Wo niche se judi hui hai... Jisse mujhe piche krti time derd hota hai..... Plzz mujhe kuch iss ke ware me btaye .... Ye kaise tutega ... Or tutega to kya hoga..
Anonymous
Thu, 08/07/2014 - 12:29
o kya hai na agar vyakti ko jyada weakness feeling ho to kya karna hotaha aur agar kisi ki dhatu patan ho to kaun si gharelu upaye karni chahiye
Aunty ji Mai Samar meri shadi ko ek saal ho gya hai magar jab bhi Mai apni wife ke saath sex karta hun to mai jaldi free ho jata hun iska koi ilaaj batao ke mai apni wife ke saath long time tak sex kar sakun plzzz
Vijay sharama
Mon, 11/03/2014 - 22:05
Main 4 saal se hastmethun kar raha hu..aur main kafi kamjor ho gaya hu..tho please main apne sharirar ko kaise fit karu..please tell me
Main 3 saal se muth maar rha hu pr sex ke tim mera ling kmjor pd jaata gbraht se hoti h or ling thik se kda b nhi hota plzZz iska ilaaj betao naa ...
Sid bête apne mann se yeh bilku nikal dijiye ki yeh hathmethun ki wajh se ho raha hai kyunki Hastmaithun ek safe /surakshit tareek ahai apni santushti karne ka. Isse koi nuksaan ya beemari nahin hoti . ling ka tayyar na hona toh kahin aap kisi tention, pressure mein toh nahi hain na? yeh samjh lijiey ki sex karnay ke liey bilkul tanav mukt hona zaruri hai bête : Jis baaray mein aur yaha padh lo : http://lovematters.in/hi/news/4-signs-you-have-erectile-dysfunction
Hlo aunti ji meri sabse badi problam he hastmethun jiske karn mere undr se ab kuch bhi virey bhahr nhi aata na hi ab ye tana huaa rhta he me kya karu sex power bilkul khtm ho gyi h...
Pehle toh apne mann se yeh baat nikal dijiye ki yeh sab hastmethun ke karan ho rah ahai kyunki Hastmaithun ek safe /surakshit tareeka hai apni santushti karne ka. Isse koi nuksaan ya beemari nahin hoti. Aur yeh samjh lijiey ki sex karnay ke liey bilkul tanav mukt hona zaruri hai bête Jis baaray mein aur yaha padh lijiye : http://lovematters.in/hi/news/4-signs-you-have-erectile-dysfunction https://lovematters.in/hi/news/erection-trouble-where-turn
Ohh! Ab kitna time hua hai is baat ko? Suno jaldi kisi achhay doctor se milo aur dekho kya ho sakta hai, agar jyada time nahi hua hoga to aap MTP ki maang kar saktey hain. Kisis neem hakeem ya chemist ke paas mat pahuch jaana, DOCTOR ONLY!! Jaldi karo samjhe?http://lovematters.in/hi/resource/unplanned-pregnancy
Nmstey aunty ji. mai ek lrk se bhut pyar krti hu. uske bina ji nhi skti. hm dno k cast alg hone ke kaRn family nhi man rhi. plz meri help kriye mjhe btaye mai kya kru. mai usk alawa kisi r ki nhi ho skti
Beta jee, sabse pehel toh yeh bata doon ki Pyaar se koi nahin mar aaaj tak – bhookh, pyaas, suicide… ya phir pathar se majnu ko maar daala duniya ne… !! So please zinda rehene ke liye ready rahiye. Beta. Theek hai aap inter caste shaadi chahtey hain. Ok! Lekin kyaa aap aur aapka bf, apne ghar waalon se Jonnjh sakenege? Kay aap dono saamna kar payenge … kal aapki mataji ke koi aisa kadam utha leey aya unke yahan kisi ne kuch kar leeya so kya ap log in sab haadson ko deal kar sakenege? Beta, yeh namumkin nahin lekin bahut hee mushkil hai. Iske parinaam saalon chal saktey hain… ghar se door, na khushi mein nag hum mein, na koi aana na ksis ka jaana- soch lo beta!!
Ravi upadhyay
Sun, 04/19/2015 - 14:30
Anti ji mera lig chota hai krib 3 inch ek to mera hasthmetun krte smaye jaldi jadz jati hai anti ji me 18 saal ka hai mere ko iski bhut presani hai ek me lig chota plese....... Aanti iska ilaz btao me sanda oil ka bi use krtahai kya ye thik hai
ling ka size bada karnay ka koi bhi tarika mojjud nahi hai. Ling ke size ki sahi jaankari yaha se hasil karo aap : http://lovematters.in/en/resource/penis-shapes-and-sizes Aur Please size par mat jao, apna andaaz achcha karo- unke saath timing bitho theek hai.All the best. http://lovematters.in/hi/resource/men-masturbating
aunti ji meri age 21 saal hai..par mere ling ka size meri umar k ladkon se bahut kam hai...main apne ling ki lambai aur motai kaise bdau plz koi upaye btaye aunti ji
ling ka size bada karnay ka koi bhi tarika mojjud nahi hai. Ling ke size ki sahi jaankari yaha se hasil karo aap : http://lovematters.in/en/resource/penis-shapes-and-sizes Aur Please size par mat jao, apna andaaz achcha karo- unke saath timing bitho theek hai.All the best.
Mai 34 sal ka hun meri problem ye hai ki mai jaise hi apna ling yoni me parbesh karta hun mera birya nikal jata hai please meri samyasa ka samadhan kare..
Bete Yeh ho sakta hai ki wahan ke muscles thode khul jaaye, jo ki bada hone ka ehsaas deyta hai. Yoni mein bahut elastic ya lachak hoti hai , leking lagatar sex karne se, us mein bhi ek swabahivik looseness y adheelapan aa jaata hai . yeh uamr ke saath bhi ho sakta hai, sirf sex se ho yeh zaroori nahin. Mahila ke shareer pe aur jaankari ke liye yahan padhein… http://lovematters.in/hi/resource/her-body
Relax! Hastmaithun ek safe /surakshit tareeka hai apni santushti karne ka. Isse koi nuksaan ya beemari nahin hoti. Yadi chahein toh bahut see activities hain, jaise ki khel – games, gym ya koi hobbies…ok? http://lovematters.in/hi/resource/men-masturbating
Mai har waqt sex ke hi bare mai sochta hoo sote uthte har time meri umar 24 hai meri sadi nahi hooi hai mai bidesh me raheta hoo mai kya karu please answer me thank you
Bete Zafeer! Is umar mein aisa hona samnya hai lekin apko khud sochna chahiey ki yadi aap sara samay in bataon may nikal dengay to zindgi kay baki kaam kese karegney, dosto se miliey, apni Hobbies par dhyan dijiey, exercise kijiey. Aur swasth sochiey!
Bete Yuvi Yoni mein bahut elastic ya lachak hoti hai , leking lagatar sex karne se, us mein bhi ek swabahivik looseness y adheelapan aa jaata hai. AIsa nhin hi ki yadi hum sex kuch arsey tak na karein to yoni apne aap tight ho jaati hai. Mahila ke shareer pe aur jaankari ke liye yahan padhe… http://lovematters.in/hi/resource/her-body
Yeh janne ka kewal ek yahi tarika hai ki mahila swayam yeh apko batyein.youni uamr ke saath bhi khul sakta hai, sirf sex se ho yeh zaroori nahin. yeh padh lijiye: http://lovematters.in/hi/resource/faqs-hymen-and-virginity
Shrikant Dhawal
Fri, 10/23/2015 - 07:25
hi Auntyji Meri Age 16 hai mera sex kane ka man karta hai to mai mutthe marta hu aur is wajaha se mere chahere par pimpals/ Acne ho gaye hai muze kya karna chahiye...
Bete iska hasthmethun se kya sambandh ? Kyunki yeh toh ek safe /surakshit tareeka hai apni santushti karne ka. Isse koi nuksaan ya beemari nahin hoti. Yadi chahein toh bahut see activities hain, jaise ki khel – games, gym ya koi hobbies…ok? http://lovematters.in/hi/resource/men-masturbating
Mai 24 saal ka hoon our mera ek grlfren hai jo sadi suda hai our wo mere se chahti hai ki tum mujhe rooj sex karo our mere se rooj karati hai is liye ki mai pass ke ghar mai rata hoon our mai ue sab karn nahi chata hoon our wo hamko chona nahi chahti hai mae keya karu
Dekho bete - Sahi - Galat ka nirnay, sirf hum khud hee le saktey hain.,Aur koi nahin kar sakta humare liye. Isliye apke is rishte ke karan kahin aap kisi badi musibat mein na padd jaye isliye zara aap svyum chintan kar leejiye, aur soch leejiye. Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Panchal Jay
Sun, 05/24/2020 - 15:34
Auntyji, muje bhabhi aur aunties bahut pasand hai aur me sabhi bhabhi and aunty gurta hu aur phone me bhi me aunties pic aur video dekhta hu tomuje bar bar ling se pani aata hai, please help
Aisa bahut se log sochtey hain, beta. Lekin apki is soch ke karan kahin aap kisi badi musibat mein na padd jaye isliye zara aap swayum chintan kar leejiye aur soch leejiye. Jara yeh writup bhi padh lijiye : https://lovematters.in/hi/making-love/turned-on-by-older-women-is-that-normal https://lovematters.in/hi/making-love/should-i-sleep-with-my-neighbourhood-bhaabhi Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Anurag bete yadi shareer menin uttejna adhik hogi, sex ki bhavna zyada hogi toh shighrpatan hone ki sambhavna bhi adhik ho sakti hai. Aisee stithi mein, partner par focus badhana, foreplay , pravesh karne se pehle bahut se alag alag kriyaein karna , jinse dono ko aanand mile, apne partner kee uttejna badhana, yeh sab activities sabse zaroori hain. Iske ilava, partner ke saath sex karne se pehle, ek baar hastmaithun kar saktey hain, utne samay pehele jitne mein ling mein tanaav aa jaaye. Condom ka istemaal bhi jaldi discharge kum karne mein madadgaar saabit ho sakta hai. Yaha padhiye: https://lovematters.in/hi/news/premature-ejaculation-top-five-facts https://lovematters.in/hi/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/i-ejaculate-too-soon-help Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum

aap pahle is link ko padhe, please- https://lovematters.in/hi/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/premature-ejaculation-top-five-facts

 

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