Auntyji
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Will I break her hymen if I finger her?

By Auntyji Tuesday, December 18, 2012 - 07:30
Q: My girlfriend wants me to finger her vagina – will it break her hymen? She also wants me to insert it deep inside. Is there any way I can prevent her hymen from breaking? Ravi, Ahmedabad.

Auntyji says… Ravi beta, ki haal chaal? Or like they say in Gujarati, kem cho majama? You are a lucky man Ravi puttar.

You should be happy that your girlfriend is taking the initiative and telling you what to do. Better follow her directions betaji. I am not kidding because most young men come to me with their problem that their girlfriend/wife doesn’t let them finger her. So you should be very happy that you can pleasure your girl. As far as she is enjoying it, why should you be bothered about anything else? She has let you know she is ready for this next step in your lovemaking, and her body is her body, after all.

Losing her virginity?

Ravi, really there is no need to worry about her hymen or tearing it. It’s true you could stretch her hymen by fingering. But as far as I go, this should not matter. It doesn’t mean she would no longer be a virgin, if that’s what you are worried about. ‘Losing your virginity’ means one thing and one thing only: having vaginal intercourse for the first time.

About the hymen

Frankly, I don’t know how much you know about hymen. So let me tell you a few facts about the female anatomy. Maybe this will help you calm down.

The hymen is a layer of skin around the opening of the vagina. It doesn’t usually cover up the entrance completely. And you can just gently push through so the opening and the thin skin stretches wide enough.

The hymen can also be stretched or torn by playing sports or using tampons. That doesn't mean a girl has lost her virginity. So a lack of hymen is not really a sign of sexual experience. Even a medical expert can’t tell for sure if a girl is a virgin or not.

So there you go. Very clearly betaji you are worrying yourself sick unnecessarily. For all you know, she could have broken her hymen while horseback riding much earlier. And you are sitting and stressing about breaking it while fingering.

Bleeding

In case you are worried about her not bleeding the first time. Then you should know that one should not even expect every girl to bleed at her first intercourse. Especially if the hymen has already been gently stretched during your excellent lovemaking!

If you take your time making love to her then she ought to be relaxed and there is also no need for it to cause her pain. Meanwhile, worrying about trying not to stretch or tear her hymen will probably make you so nervous it will spoil lovemaking for both of you.

Bigger picture

Ravi puttar, I hope with this I have solved most of your worry. Like they say in Punjab, khao pio aish karo mitron. Just stay calm and be happy and always look at the bigger picture. You should be grateful that the two of you love each other and are sexually compatible as well. The same folklore in Punjab goes on to say dil par kise da duhkao na.

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Comments
hie aunty I always put my finger on my vigina does that mean I'm no longer a virgin or does it mean Im not gonna bleed when I decide to let my boyfriend break my viginity please aunt I need answers, I even had sex with my young brother when we were kids so does that mean I'm not a virgin coz we were still young and I ddn't feel any pain
Shivani12
Thu, 07/03/2014 - 00:38
aunty g... maine apne pehle sex k baad unwanted 72 khaayi thi... but tabse mujhe stomach pain ho rha hai...plz suggest me something.asap.
Well yes and no. first time bleeding tab hee ho a hai Yadi jhilli y ahymen pehel kisi karan vash na toot gayee ho, jaise ki cycle chalaan, bhagna, daud ke bus pakadna, vigeh, yeh bahut hee aam baat hai by the way. So relax. Ab yadi aap phr bhi koi chance nahin lena chhatey, yeh bhi bahut pyaari baat hai, so aap who sab kuch kar saktey hain jo ki praveshit sex na ho. Leejye padh leejiye : http://lovematters.in/hi/news/virginity-top-five-facts http://lovematters.in/hi/resource/making-love
tarun jolly Bakshi nagar jammu j&k ( Happy)
Mon, 07/21/2014 - 17:16
madam jii jilllyyy kya hota hai & maine kabi sex nhi kia even ki mai apni gf ke sath ek raat bahar b raha hu fir b mere himmat nhi huiii us vajah se mere gf mere gender par shak kar rhi hai im so confused wat will i do please suggest me
Agar apki GF ki ichha hai to aap sex kar saktay hai. Kya aap ready hai? Suniye, koi zabardasti thodi na hai- jab aap tayyr hon tab keejiye, don’t rush!! Relax. Ky aap jhlli ki pooch rahe hai? Lo yeh sab padh lo https://lovematters.in/hi/yoni-ka-chhed-yah-kya-hota-hai
ma'am meri gf ko first time sex karte time bleeding nhi hui. Sex se pahle maine vagina mein finger dali thi par us time par b bleeding nhi hui, ab main kya karu pls answer me.
Kya karun matlab? Kahin aap uski viriginty ko lekar tochinta may nahi may bête to may apko bata dun ki virginity pata karnay ka koi pakka rasta nahi jab lekin is jasoosi ko chod kay apni sex aur love life pe dhyan dey.
HISTORY LINUS
Mon, 07/21/2014 - 20:22
Helo antyji,my name is history am form nigeria.please i nid ur help,my gf is havin dis felin of sex all the time n she wnts me 2 have sex wit her,but it's her first time havin sex n i dnt wnt 2 make any mistake so she dnt get pregnant n she is a virgin.what must i do?
Beta aisa hona bohot hi common hai par hum aapki ismein koi sahayata nahi kar saktay! Lekin aap hastmethun try kar saktay hain kyunki hastmaithun ek safe /surakshit tareek ahai apni santushti karne ka. Ise padhiye: https://lovematters.in/hi/resource/men-masturbating https://lovematters.in/hi/love-and-relationships/do-indian-men-not-understand-consent Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna   chahte hain to hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho! https://lovematters.in/en/forum
Mam; mera gf k sath mane jb 1st time sex kiya tha. uska bohut dard hwa tha lakin uska bliding nahai hwa, aur usoko sex krne ke time bohut he dard hote he. kiya bo virgine nahi he? laken me usko baspan se pyar krti hu or bo v. plz hlp me..
Yes of course this is I possible. the finger is very narrow in comparison to the penis, also you are more relaxed perhaps in fingerieng than intercourse. It may be possible that you are a bit nervous, or not fully excited, so bête whats the hurry take your time, no need to rush into anything you don’t want to you know! So relax beta! Koi jaldi thodi na hai.
Auntiji ...meri gf ko maine bht baar finger ander dala hh to kya wo virgin nai h....aur jb penis dalne la koshis kiya to andar nai ja raha tha
sandip awasthi
Tue, 07/29/2014 - 11:46
mam mai bahut dino se masturbate kar raha hoon pehle to lagbag har din 3 4 baar ho jata tha lekin ab 2 ya 3 din me 1 ya 2 baar ho jata .mhuje lagta ki isi ke karan mere sarir me weakness aane lagi hai khana digest hone me problem ho rahi hai raat me yadi kisi din thoda heavy khana ho jata hai to raat me hi semen fall ho jata hai penis se .bahut kosis karta hoon isko chodne ki par phir ek ya do din me phir haat chala hi baittha hoon madam pls kuch solution batayie kyonki meri koi gf bhi nahi ab to iska asar face pe bi hone laga hai aankh ke niche kale nishan ban gaye hain ..pls kuch solution dijiye mdam
Madam je mene apnegf k sath kuch month pehle sex karna chaha par jaise hi mene intercorse krna chaha to bo boli bht pain ho rha h or bleeding v hoe..jhilli kis trah todni chahye
aunty ji maine apne pahle b'f k sath sex kiya tha par hum dono ka breakup ho gya aur meri shadi hone wali h mujhe meri first night ki chinta h agar mere husband ne mujhse pucha ki bleeding Q ni hui to main kya kahu please guide me.
auty Ji Maine bf k sath sex kia h bt bleeding nhi hui h aur ab mera brkup v ho gya h aur meri sadi v hone wali h to mere ko dar h k first night m agr mera bleeding nhi hua to mere husband puchnege k Q nhi hua to mai kya jabab dongi rply
aunty ji meri girlfrnd ko intercourse k time bleeding ni hui aur na hi usne pahle aisa kuch kiya h jisse ki hymen effected ho, to kya wajah ho sakti h bleeding na hone ki, wo physically fit to h na, usko sex karte time bahut zyada pani nikalta h aur zyada dard b mehsus ni hota. Jabki main physically fit hu.
To sasmya kay hai bête sex kay samay jyada pani ata hai to ye toh achi baat hai tabhi to sex easily ho jata hai aur unhay durd nahi hota. rahi baat bleeding na honay ki toh ho sakta hai ki may ya kabhi unka hyman cycling wahera se toot gaya ho jis wajh se unhay bleeding na hui ho. jyada pareshan na ho aur apni life ki aur baton par dhyan day. ?
Ma'am......when i fingure in her vegina so my fingure goes with little dificuilty....how can i chek she is virgine or not......plz help me i'm in big confusion.
Bete you can’t check her virginity because there is no way available to identify it! And you if you love her you should not be confused, instead you should enjoy your love life, don’t bother yourself with these issues.
Aunty meinwy apni gf k saath 10 baar sex kr li h but unfortunatly penis andr nhi ja pati h i m so woried about ths y this things hppns wth me
maam...mai ek teen ager houn (19 yrs).....meina aj tak kabhi sex nahi kiya hai......par kerna chatha houn now im nt able to controll maam....ek din mai kam se kam 2 se 3 bar mastarbute kertha houn.....isse sey kuch prblm toh nahi hogi na future mai......i evn dnt have a gf for sex......wt to do maam.....im suffering a lot....
aanty ji mujhe monthly problem(m.c) k time bleeding hone par bahut dard hota h, main pain relief tablet le leti hu tab aram lag jata hai, kya ye problem normal h ya kuch aur baat ho sakti hai??
tarun jolly Bakshi nagar jammu j&k ( Happy)
Mon, 08/11/2014 - 13:41
AUNTY JI MAINE JAB SEX KARA MERA BOHT JALDI HI HOGYA BUT MERE GF SATISFIED NHI HUIIIII MAI KYA KARUUUUU......TIME EXPAND KAISE KARUUUUU PLEASE SUGGEST ME
I was trying to have sex with my gf but my penis seem to be very thick. She said shez a virgin and the more I press it in she sreems louder that I feel bad and loose appetite for the game and she cries for some minutes how can we successifully complete that sex session. Help coz both of us we want it
There is no role for such pain in sex- clearly she is NOT READY so please back off!! Ruk jao, whats the hurry! Why are you being so persistent? Let me tell you one thing- it is critical to win over the trust of a person before we start having sex- only then can they relax feel comfy… hope you get it! Please go through this link https://lovematters.in/en/resource/first-time-sex
i had sex with my bf 3 yrs ago and nw i m going to marry anothr person due family pblms, vil my husband cme to that i had sex before marriage
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