My awkward first time gay sex
Shutterstock/Alvaro Pantoja

My awkward first time gay sex

“Neither of us came and we ended up sulking quietly for the rest of the night,” says Ruchit. Ruchit realized he was gay when he was in college and he feels that his first sexual experience was extremely awkward because he was still confused about his sexual orientation back then.

Ruchit (name changed) is a 26-year-old freelance photographer based in Delhi.

It happened in my last year at school. A group of boys from class decided to go to a friend's farmhouse for New Year’s and I went along. The place was stocked with his dad’s liquor and one of us stumbled on his secret porn collection as well.

Erotic Torture

So naturally we got completely sloshed and decided to watch one of the DVD’s we had found. I stepped out of the room for a minute to get another drink and when I got back everyone was watching it silently. Some of the guys were rubbing their hard-ons through their jeans.

A group of horny 17-year-old boys watching porn and touching themselves might not sound very exciting to anyone but it was nothing short of erotic torture for me. It’s strange because unlike many other boys in my class I actually had a girlfriend and honestly speaking I wasn’t fully aware of my own attraction to men.

It happened so fast

I don’t remember in what order it happened in but one of the guys in the room started throwing up because he was really drunk. The rest of us drifted into whatever empty room we saw. I ended up in a room with D. We plonked ourselves on the bed and started having a drunken conversation about school. We were lying next to each other and he let his hand flop down against my waist. We kept up the conversation but all I could focus on was the spot his hand was on because it felt like it was burning a warm hole through my t-shirt.

He had stopped talking and I thought he had passed out but he suddenly started running his hand over my tummy and chest. The rest of it happened so fast that it’s all blurry but I remember us kneeling on the bed and touching each other. I was really turned on but I wanted to burst out laughing at how silly we looked. Fumbling

He gave me a blowjob for exactly one minute and it didn’t look like he was too into it. But he was definitely into it when it was my turn. I think with all the fumbling and second-guessing the oral sex would have lasted just a few minutes. Neither of us came and we ended up sulking quietly for the rest of the night.

When I think about it now, I guess I was just excited by the thought that what we were doing was wrong. But beyond that it was as awkward as anyone else’s first time. What made it truly horrible was the “I’m not actually gay” and “we were just drunk” conversation with D the morning after.

"I guess I was just excited by the thought that what we were doing was wrong," says Ruchit. What do you think? Leave a comment here or on Facebook.

Did you find this useful?

Comments
Add new comment

Comment

  • Allowed HTML tags: <a href hreflang>