Will I break her hymen if I finger her?

By Auntyji Tuesday, December 18, 2012 - 07:30
Q: My girlfriend wants me to finger her vagina – will it break her hymen? She also wants me to insert it deep inside. Is there any way I can prevent her hymen from breaking? Ravi, Ahmedabad.

Auntyji says… Ravi beta, ki haal chaal? Or like they say in Gujarati, kem cho majama? You are a lucky man Ravi puttar.

You should be happy that your girlfriend is taking the initiative and telling you what to do. Better follow her directions betaji. I am not kidding because most young men come to me with their problem that their girlfriend/wife doesn’t let them finger her. So you should be very happy that you can pleasure your girl. As far as she is enjoying it, why should you be bothered about anything else? She has let you know she is ready for this next step in your lovemaking, and her body is her body, after all.

Losing her virginity?

Ravi, really there is no need to worry about her hymen or tearing it. It’s true you could stretch her hymen by fingering. But as far as I go, this should not matter. It doesn’t mean she would no longer be a virgin, if that’s what you are worried about. ‘Losing your virginity’ means one thing and one thing only: having vaginal intercourse for the first time.

About the hymen

Frankly, I don’t know how much you know about hymen. So let me tell you a few facts about the female anatomy. Maybe this will help you calm down.

The hymen is a layer of skin around the opening of the vagina. It doesn’t usually cover up the entrance completely. And you can just gently push through so the opening and the thin skin stretches wide enough.

The hymen can also be stretched or torn by playing sports or using tampons. That doesn't mean a girl has lost her virginity. So a lack of hymen is not really a sign of sexual experience. Even a medical expert can’t tell for sure if a girl is a virgin or not.

So there you go. Very clearly betaji you are worrying yourself sick unnecessarily. For all you know, she could have broken her hymen while horseback riding much earlier. And you are sitting and stressing about breaking it while fingering.


In case you are worried about her not bleeding the first time. Then you should know that one should not even expect every girl to bleed at her first intercourse. Especially if the hymen has already been gently stretched during your excellent lovemaking!

If you take your time making love to her then she ought to be relaxed and there is also no need for it to cause her pain. Meanwhile, worrying about trying not to stretch or tear her hymen will probably make you so nervous it will spoil lovemaking for both of you.

Bigger picture

Ravi puttar, I hope with this I have solved most of your worry. Like they say in Punjab, khao pio aish karo mitron. Just stay calm and be happy and always look at the bigger picture. You should be grateful that the two of you love each other and are sexually compatible as well. The same folklore in Punjab goes on to say dil par kise da duhkao na.

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Hmmm! So toh aap Kuch mat kijiey aur sahi sammaey aaney ka intzaar kijiey jab wo khud sehmati dikhaey sex ke liey.Kyunki kisi bhi rishtey mey jabardasti acceptable nahi hai . in baton se dhyan hatiey aur apney rishtey ko aur majbut banaiey.
Jatin yadav
Mon, 01/11/2016 - 01:07
hi aunty meri gf fingering kara leti hai 2finger bhi dala leti hai mera penis suck kar leti hai bhut penis apani vagina mei ni daalne deti Kai baari wo penis pe baith chuki hai but jump kar jaati hai mei kya karu plz sugges isse mei setisfy ni ho paata
dur e najaf
Sat, 06/27/2015 - 13:43
Hi...I did fingering last night for the first time and I was little bleed.have I lose virginity?? will I bleed again when I'll do sex fisrt time???
Aapko aisa kyun lag raha hai ki hymen nahi toota hai, kya blood ke karan. So yeh bilkul bhee nischit nahi hai har mahila ko pehli baar sex ke duran blood niklega kyunki Kaumarya ka poora daromadaar hymen ya jhilli se juda hua hai. Yaad rakhiye ki yeh bahut hee asani se toot saktee hai, jese cycling, horse riding ya khel-kud ke duran. Yeh padh lijiye:' Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon!
I had a fingering with my bf,but when he tried it the third time he insert 2 fingers and i had a pain for two days and he asked me if am still a virgin.when he want to insert his penis it pains and we didn't have sex that day and now i am afraid to have sex with him.please reply want to know if um still a virgin
m y pochnaa chahtii hn k mere bf n mere fingering k n thora as blood b aya now my seal is open to kiaa jab m real m sex karungii to blood ayega ?? kia koi tareka nii k seal wapis s ajaye PLC help
Jab me hasta maithun karta hu tab foreskin peechhe kar leta hu aur only penis ke head ko thoda sahlane se mera virya pressure se Bahar nikal jaata hai, to kya ye normal hai, aur future me marriage ke baad sex life me koi problem to nahi hogi na?
Hello mam, parso ke din Maine mere bf ke sathme sex kiya. Hamara first time tha. And Jab Meh khudko fingering krti hun 3 finger aaram se chali jati hai. Aur parso un honone unka penis eject kiya mere vagina me mujhe thoda hi dard Hua. Humne Condon nai use kiya air thode sperms vagina ke ander gye lekin hymen ki bleeding nai hui. Toh ky Meri virginity lose hui? Aur ky Meh pregnant ho skti hun?
my friend does masturbation and she sent me a pic of her vagina asking me if she broke her hymen. Can you have a look and tell me? she is really worried and I don't know what to do
Mam meri gf ko abhi tk period nh aaya 10tarik di date thi or hamare bich aj tk sex nh hua bs upper upper se hua h pyar per sex nh kiya phr b period nh fingring krta hu vegina me plz meri help kijeye plz btaye k period q nh aaya kr k abhi tk
Listen! hymen can be torn or stretched in lots of ways without having any kind of sex, or any Sports like cycling, horse riding. Next time you'll bleed because of hymen it is not certain thing. Clear your doubts read more here:
Darling girl, whatever be the case you have full right to say NO. if you are afraid, then stop it now. Tell him you are very nervous, and not ready. If he is a true lover, friend, he will not force you rather will respect your body and your choice, if not, then throw him out with his fingers and his penis… all in one!! OUT!! This is your body and its your right to say yes or no.. yes? Or No? All the best beta, take good care.
Bete, ap chinta na karo. Aanand uthaane ka sabkaa apna apna tareeka hota hai aur ye puri tarah se normal hai. Na hi bhavishya mein isse koi takleef hogi. Iss baare mein yaha par bhi padh lo zaraa: Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon!
Don't worry about it too much, beta. The hymen can be torn or stretched in lots of ways without having any kind of sex, or any sports like cycling, horse riding. Some women are even born without hymens. So, why worry about the hymen rupturing? Read here: If you would like to join in on a further discussion on this topic, join our discussion board, ‘Just Ask’
Relax Sunny bete! Fingering aur virginty ke baare mein yaha padhiye: Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare disccsion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho!
Ayesha bete relax! Seal ya hymen, kisi bhi cheez se toot sakta hai… tez khel, daudna, poncha karna vigerah ya kai baar janm se hee hymen nahi hota hai toh bleeding ki chinta mat kijiye, ye period bhi ho sakta hai. Bilkul relaxed rahiye. Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain to hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil ho!
Saniya beti, virgin ho ya na ho, as long as ek drop bhi andar chale jaye, pregnancy ke chance hain. Test kijiye, sex ke 10 din baad, Phoren. Yadi aap is mudde par humse aur gehri charcha mein judna chahte hain toh hamare discussion board “Just Poocho” mein zaroor shamil hon!
Bete Sherya Kaumarya ka poora daromadaar hymen ya jhilli se juda hua hai. Yaad rakhiye ki yeh bahut hee asani se toot saktee hai, jese cycling, horse riding ya khel-kud ya jese ki aap jo bata rahi hain hasthmethun ke duran bhee.
Aftr d brk of hymen did bleeding remain for several it will be cure by own or wht i hv to do im so much my bf tear my hymen by fingering deeply its become bleeding does it will create in my nxt menstruation my nxt mens date on june plz help me im vry tensed?
Bete relax first thing is that after breaking of Hyman there being little bleeding is normal or there happening lots of bleeding then some problems is there, second thing is that there is no chance to create Hyman again so forget that and virginity is not a big issue so don't worry bete just take care your self.
Trisha Rathore
Mon, 06/02/2014 - 06:59
hello aunti ji ,my hymen is broken during my first sexual intercourse how long it will bleed and I have also little swelling on mr vagina ....plzzzz help me I am very tensed...
Dheeraj , patna
Sat, 06/07/2014 - 21:44
Aunty ji !! Main kya karun !! Meri gf ke sath sex me 1 min m hi mera discharge ho jata h !!! And Usko jb aacha lgne lgta h to mera discharge ho chuka rehta h !!! Ab hum kya karein !! I m not satisfying her will !!! koi suggestion h to batayi ki main apne sex time ko kaise increase karu !!! other than any use of medicine or Viagra Tablets !!!
rashi sharma
Sun, 06/08/2014 - 11:20
autyji my bf wants to have intercourse but i m scared to loose my virginity nd also about the pain it causes during intercourse
mene apni gf k sath 15month pahle sex kiya tha usko bahut bleeding hui thi..ager me ab sex karunga to kya use ab v bleeding hogi..
mene apni gf k sath 15 month pahle first time sex kiya tha to use bahut bleeding hui thi me ager ab fr se secound time sex karunga to kya fr se bleeding hogi...
yeh kaha jaata hai ki first time pe bleeding hoti hai lekin yeh ek MITYA hai. Bleeding sirf jhilli ya hymen ke tootne ki bvajeh se ho sktee hai jo ki kisi aur vajeh se bhi toot saktu hai, jaise ki cycling, zammen pe baith ke poncha karna, tezz daud lagana vigereh Yeh bhi ho sakta hai ki aglee baar bleeding na ho ya thodi see ho bhi sakteehai. Jo aapki Gf ko pasand aaye ya jiss se woh razamand hon, woh hee sex keejiye.
Harpartap Singh
Fri, 06/13/2014 - 17:15
Hello Aunty ji Apko tow pata hi hai aaj kal ki duniya main jayada tar ya har koi bf/gf sex krte hain.maine vese kabhi kiya nahi bcz i dn't have.tow main kaise janu k meri wife virgin hogi k nahi? bcz na hui tow yeh nainsafi hogi. aur kya pata wo kya kya kr k aai ho.bcz esi ladki ho main wife nahi banauga.agar maine sex kiya hota kisi k sath tow theek tha.
I had a big doubt mam... My boy frnd has fingered me before 3 months , i got some bleeding [5 or 6 drops of blood], we both had too worried about that... Is it possible to heal my hymen by giving long gap for our sex life for 2 yrs and is it will again bleed when the penis is inserted after 2 years.. ??
Hello aunty!! Mje ye jaan na hain ki jb meine apni gf mein fingering kari thi tb bleeding nhi hui...and little bit of my penis when I insert it in my gf , no bleeding takes I wanted to ask is my gf is virgin or not? Plz do reply please
manjeet kaur
Wed, 07/02/2014 - 13:06
i made love with my boyfnd and i didnt bleed at that time.. i am not a sports player ..nor masturbaited evr...i dont understan y i didnt bleed at my first intrcourse....plz tell me is there anything to worry about????
No darling, nothing. You can break a vagina by just riding on a scooter, a horse, running after a bus, sitting squat- so just relax. Read the Myths and FAQS here :
hie aunty I always put my finger on my vigina does that mean I'm no longer a virgin or does it mean Im not gonna bleed when I decide to let my boyfriend break my viginity please aunt I need answers, I even had sex with my young brother when we were kids so does that mean I'm not a virgin coz we were still young and I ddn't feel any pain
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