Auntyji says… O ho, yeh kahan phas gayee priya Ritu? You are really in a god forsaken situation – not because any of this is true but because it is so hard to convince these ladies and many gentlemen that there’s nothing wrong with menstruating.
Clean and clear
The problem – it all comes from the idea that during her period every girl is dirty, unclean and impure. Dasso ji! This is because she is bleeding from her vagina, hai na? Were she to fall down and bleed from her nose, why don’t we shun her and say, “Ayae haye, how filthy!”
But then toh all these mummys and chaachis are crying louder than the girl, “Haye meri juddei nu ki ho gaya... raabaaaahhh!” Listen to me beta, menstrual blood is NOT dirty, it is NOT impure, it is just not needed at that time so the body flushes it out. In fact you can say it is a cleansing process. So shut up, Chaachi 420!
A soft cushion
What is the first thing that happens when a girl is pregnant? Her periods stop. Why? Because the uterine lining, which is the exact same thing that breaks down and causes periods, is needed to act as a cushion, a gadda for the zygote to rest on.
So how can that blood be dirty, filthy or polluting? Please tell me this. It’s the very same blood and lining which is used to offer rest and a grasp to the as yet very tiny foetus – aka zygote – the beginning of a new life. So when it is not doing that and is naturally coming out instead, it suddenly becomes full of germs and pollutants and blah? Koi sense hai is gal vich? Dasso?
Aye haye... what all myths surround these poor periods, let me remind you of a few. No touching any pickles, curd or yoghurt, even that tulsi plant – all will die or go bad! How? By what great osmosis will the supposedly dirty menstrual blood enter into your hands and via a chamach or mug enter the pickles or the plant – matlab how?
If it has such huge poisonous properties then ought not it be killing you yourself first? Or any human being who touches you or comes near you?
So iska bhi tode hai – lock her up in a dark room alone, she has to do nothing – not meet anyone, not mix and ask her to sleep on the floor? Why? Because her body is in very good condition? The baby factory – aka the uterus, ovaries and its cousins – is doing just fine, so we should fine the girl for it? Wah wah!
Now Ritu, this mad cousin and even madder chaachi. You do one thing, beta, you take your mom out on a date, maybe you can bring some other cousins like yourself or some office pals who she likes and over a coffee tell her what’s bothering you. Ask her all these questions, corner her, confront her with facts and feelings – that this kind of rubbish talk is an insult to all women and to you too.
That its totally unfair and demeaning that we are being harassed by our own family just because our body is fulfilling its role! Tell her that chaachi ki baton mein aake she too is demeaning you and does she want to do that really? Before she finishes that cup of coffee, ensure that she’s planning chaachi’s departure!
As for the aaj ke zamane ki pichdi hui mataji, your cousin – give her a long lecture too about how she is succumbing to her mother’s ideas and if she continues this way, she will lose many opportunites in life.
For example, let’s say she lands up in Rome and is going to see the Vatican City and the beautiful churches which she never will get a chance again. So will she not go if she has her periods? What if she is in a meeting with other colleagues, will she sleep on the floor in a hotel? What if she has her periods and she feels like having sex with her boyfriend and he is as keen too? Will she tell him, “I can’t do it yaaa, I may kill you if I have sex with you, I have my periods?”
Jhalli – kamli! Beta ji , being well-educated and holding a good job is no guarantee for being well aware and a smart person, let me tell you.
Puttar, woh hee God whose vaasta these ladies give na. S(he) only has granted women – this body with all its roles and functions. Nowhere must it been used to torture girls and women or show them down. These are really silly patriarchal norms and need to be totally trashed and ignored. Keep yourself clean and healthy, do what you like – Eat, Pray, Love my kuddiyon!
Read some more myths about menstruation.
To protect the author's privacy, the person in the photo is a model.
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